I never thought I would want to move home after graduation. Mostly because I’m an adult, and I thought I could handle things on my own. I’ve been in the really real world of college, where people drink and party and get jobs and pay bills.
Except, I really haven’t been there yet. I’m lucky enough that my parents can afford to pay my tuition and my living expenses up here. I’ve had jobs here and there, but nothing that I can support myself with, and I’m not sure where to go now with the degrees that I have. I thought I wanted to stay in Bellingham, but I’m learning that there’s not much job opportunity up here, and it’s not really economical.
So, off to Kirkland I go. For more adventures and mishaps, I suppose. I’m excited because it means that I get to spend more time with my parents. It means hiking with my dad and having more home-cooked meals, and going out to movies with my mom. It means I get to see my sister and her family more often, and all of my friends because they all moved home after graduation, too. It means free rent, which is wonderful, and some cushion until I find a decent job.
As I get older, I’m starting to learn the importance of family. When I was a teenager, I couldn’t wait to get away from everyone and start over somewhere new. And I did, with college, and I’m glad I got to experience that.
But that doesn’t take away the five years I spent away from home. If you’ve read my last article, which was a tribute to my cat, you’ll know that she recently died, and that’s five years I could have spent with her. I see photos on Facebook of my family getting together without me, and it’s been five years of that.
I always thought I would meet someone and that by the end of college we would be taking the next step into adult life together. But that hasn’t happened, and I’m really glad it didn’t, because I don’t know if I ever would have realized what I have in my family if I had -- or if I did, it would be too late.
And the nice thing about my parents is that they understand my need for independence. They won’t be upset if I stay out late, so long as I let them know beforehand that I won’t be home. And that doesn’t bother me, because it’s nice to have someone looking out for me. It’s nice to be worried over because it means they care (though I don’t want to cause them worry). It means they love me, and I didn’t know until the first time I got sick and didn’t have anyone to help take care of me what that meant.
Most things I’ve been OK with. Cooking, cleaning, laundry, making my own appointments -- that was all stuff I knew how to do before. But it is difficult to be so far away when you need someone. I was in the hospital not long ago, and my parents drove up every day to see me. That’s three hours of driving every day, but they did it because they love me.
Hopefully I won’t need urgent care like that again, but I know now that if it happens, they’ll be close by. I’m thankful for everything they’ve done for me, and I’m excited I’ll be living with them again.
There's a stigma that moving home after college means you're codependent, or unsuccessful, but I don't think that's true at all. It's a chance for me to comfortably decide what I want to do with my life, and spend time with my family while doing it.
