It’s that time of year again. Mother’s Day. A loving holiday for some, a cruel reminder for others. A day where every form of media insists that every women who gives birth is the image of undying love, a moral human being by nature who will ALWAYS be there to ground you and care for you in tough times. These images of the morally absolute mother are portrayed from jewelry commercials, persuading you to buy that white gold necklace for all that your mother has done, to restaurant advertisements, reminding you to show your real love and appreciation for mom by buying her a whole roast chicken. I am going to assume that you are reading this, however, because you, like me, did not have a mother to celebrate yesterday, but had to deal with all this moral absolutism bullshit being fed to you, regardless.

Whether your mother is absent from your life by choice or not, you have had to learn what the world has never wanted us to know. Mothers are mere human beings, susceptible to the same risks as everyone else. Mothers can get too sick to be with us our whole lives, whether it’s physical sickness or mental sickness, and in order to accept this healthily, we need to get rid of these images of mothers as immaculate beings, who never screw up or dip out.

I want to sincerely apologize for whatever situation life threw at you to leave you without your mother and remind you that this loss does not define you and does not make you any less of a perfect person, capable of anything and deserving of everything that life has to offer. Sometimes, loss can trick us into telling ourselves that we somehow deserved it, or even caused it in some cases. But you did not. The world is an unfair place, full of events and heartbreak that make no sense.

So instead of feeling like you are lacking something on Mother's Day because you were unable to buy into all of the corporate bullshit, view this capitalistic holiday as an opportunity to be grateful that you were able to be brought into this world, no matter who made it possible and where they are now. Give love and gratitude to other women, and people, in your life who acted as role models in the absence of your mother. You have experienced pain that has made you a stronger, more resilient, individual and that it something to be happy about.

To conclude, I want to answer the question that is probably floating around in your head right now. Why is Bob Ross all over this article. Well, Bob Ross is the image of a person who did not let loss define him, but instead devoted his life to bettering himself and using his pain to help others. Before Ross was the zen, afro'd man above, he was a drill sergeant. As in the mean guys who yell at everyone, as Ross put it. He decided that he did not like being this person, and decided that he would instead teach others how to paint, with no pay, and vowed to never raise his voice again. Bob Ross lost multiple important people in his life, such as his brother and wife, but continued to spread happiness, love, and hope, and so can we.