Nights in college can end in quite a few ways. Some, you may remember clearer than others. From talking to older friends and even relatives, a common story "tea" time is the classic but not-so-classic morning-after stories. Here are some of the award winners I've heard the past year and a half on campus.
1. New year... same me
"I went to my friend's house party for New Years. Everything was going great, and then the next thing I knew I was opening my eyes to find my dad in front of me. I asked him why he was at my friend's house, as he slowly shakes his head and points to my surroundings. Turns out I was at the hospital."
2. Fight or flight (down very public stairs)
"I woke up in the morning and wanted to get out fast, so naturally I saw a window with stairs and quietly descended them.. in my beautiful ref shirt carrying my shoes and bra. Happy Halloweek."
3. In need of some Vitamin D
"The morning after a night out I woke up and half of both of my front teeth were missing. Pretty low-key."
4. True friends have unintentional sleepovers
"I was leaving the room of last night's hook up when I realized my best friend was sleeping there with her boyfriend.. so after I cuddled with them we did a nice walk of shame home together."
5. Being cultured and shit
"Lol one time I woke up in the Intercontinental on a different island of Hong Kong with work in two hours. Still don't know the name of the male but made it to work on time."
6. Roomie goals!
"Low-key woke up at 5am still drunk to see my roommate on the floor naked with a man."
7. Swamp life
"My ex decided to fall asleep too early on a Tina Tuesday, which is obviously a disgrace, so I decided to drunkenly use the door code to get in. I couldn't find his room, so I casually had a photoshoot with everything in his basement."
8. Protection at its finest
"One time I woke up in my bed covered in condoms. I didn't hook up with anyone, I just somehow came home with more condoms than anyone could ever need."
9. The true Victoria's Secret angel
"This one time I hookup up with someone on Thursday of Halloweek. I was dressed as a VS angel walking home around noon wearing a rush DTD shirt and men's gym shorts with my black heels and pink silk robe... I saw my good friends and a boy I hadn't seen since high school graduation."
10. 5-star Uber rating ALWAYS
"I woke up in my bed from the night before, remembered nothing about how I got home except walking down 9 flights of stairs and throwing up out the window of an Uber. I had to get up and study for a final the next morning too."
11. Teacher's pet
"Walking home from last nights hookup, I was very nauseous in a jersey and his sweats. I was holding my shoes and bra in my hand as women with high self-respect do. I dropped my bra, and as I picked it up I hear "You're looking good this morning!" I look up to see my professor (of a 12 person class) looking at me with one hand on her hip, and she didn't let it go all semester."
12. Squeaky ~clean~
"I woke up in a Michigan bathrobe after a night at a house party and had to walk down South U in just that. I was the top post on Yik Yak."
13. Just chilling
"There was a boy over, but I wasn't sure when my roommate was coming back. Turns out a DPS officer heard her friend say she was drunk, so he followed them back to our room. The door swung open as I lay ass naked, and the officer says "sup player" to the boy as he stands in the doorway."
14. Say cheese!
"I tried taking a Snapchat of a boy sleeping in my bed after a hu for my friend, so naturally I forgot to shut off the flash and it went off in his face. He wasn't completely asleep either, so he definitely knew what happened."
15. A failed prince
"I spent the night at a guys place after a jersey themed mixer, so the next morning I asked if I could have clothes to walk home in. Being the sweetheart he is, he said no.. so as everyone was walking to their Friday morning class, I was walking home in a jersey and no pants."
16. Romance isn't dead
"The morning after in itself was perfectly fine. The real kicker was around 6 weeks later he came up to me at a mixer and extended his hand to introduce himself- because he had genuinely no idea that we had ever met, or had sex."
17. Fun, flirty AND studious
"I fell asleep in a pile of all of my Orgo notes and pens, so I woke up with everything covering me and wrinkled. I cried and unfortunately, I didn't absorb any of the info as I slept (my exam grade for proof)."
18. A romantic St. Patties weekend
"After a fun afternoon of St. Patty's day activities, I woke up in the depths of Markley at 11pm. I found myself naked next to a boy, who was also naked, with both of us under a bath towel. Between us was a plastic Christmas tree and my naked body was wrapped in Christmas lights. I looked over and his roommate was sitting at his desk watching porn while eating pizza rolls, so naturally, I asked where I was and who was the boy next to me. Ends up being a boy in my 4 person project team and I ended up asking him to formal."
19. A slightly emotional awakening
"After my friend and I dressed up as gothic rockers for Halloweek, I woke up at 11am on the common room couch of Oxford with my black makeup dripping down my face and the cleaning person vacuuming next to me. Where were my shoes and phone? We'll never know."
