There's More Than One Way To Spring Clean

There's More Than One Way To Spring Clean

Cleaning your mind and your life can be just as beneficial as cleaning your house

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Every spring, I find myself hopping on the bandwagon of spring cleaning. I donate clothes, I scrub surfaces that desperately need it, I sweep, mop, vacuum - the whole deal. And often times, I find myself longing for a change of pace beyond a clean apartment. I get the urge to eat better, to keep my apartment cleaner, to think more positively, and to develop new, healthy habits. It's like I get my New Years Resolution motivation two months too late.

This year, I've decided I am going to make changes in my life this spring beyond cleaning my living space. I cleaned out my apartment last week and ended up having three giant trash bags full of clothes and shoes to donate that I hadn't worn in months. Right before I got rid of them, I realized how ridiculous it was for me to have more material belongings than I know what to do with. I came to the conclusion that I worry too much about what I wear and how I look than the memories I'm making and who I surround myself with in life - which is what really matters.

I grew up privileged enough to have everything that I needed, and it took me way too long to realize that I have way, way more than I need. I decided that my goal for 2019 (and for every year from here on out) is to only possess things I truly need or use on a regular basis. I am trying to learn that just because something once brought me joy doesn't mean that I need to keep it around after it's served it's purpose.

In the wise words of Marie Kondo:







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In addition to showing gratitude to these clothes I'm getting rid of that have gone unworn, I am learning to spend my money more responsibly - if I am not sure that I will wear or use something enough to make it worth the price, I am able to pass it up more easily than I used to. I've always struggled with saving money and one of my big goals for this year is to be more financially responsible.

Back to cleaning: another way to clean this spring is to eat healthier. My psychiatrist recently recommended that I try a Mediterranean diet, which is supposed to help with depression and anxiety, as well as lifting your mood in general. I've also started taking vitamins and supplements that allow me to be healthier and happier each day.

The last major way to clean up your life this spring is to be good to yourself. Mentally, emotionally, physically - there are so many little things you can do to make your day better and easier. I have started putting a lot more effort into my schoolwork and procrastinate significantly less because that was something that really increased my day-to-day anxiety, making it harder to eat and sleep. I have also started going to bed earlier and taking melatonin when I can't sleep to make sure that I am well rested for the next day. I try to get up early no matter what my plans are so that I can have a consistent routine that keeps me up and moving and productive. The best way to improve is to be patient, understanding, and forgiving with yourself.

Happy cleaning!

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Goodbye School, Hello Real World

I'm ready for ya!

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It's starting to hit me.

I've been in school, year after year, since kindergarten. Maybe even pre-school!

Now, I'm about to graduate with my bachelors in communication and I couldn't be more proud of myself. I'll say it. I often sugarcoat it or suppress it but d*mn it. I'm going to applaud myself. It was hard work. It took a lot of motivation, determination, (caffeine), and willpower to get to where I am today. I worked my ass off.

That being said, I can't help but think... What is life without due dates? What is life like without scrambling to turn in an assignment that's due at 11:59 PM? What is life like with actual sleep? Sleep? I don't know her.

Like I keep telling my boyfriend and my parents, I don't have it all figured out. At least not right now. But I will, and I'm in no rush to land my dream job right now. If anything, I want to take a year to myself. I want to travel. I want to sleep in if I d*mn well please! I want to read as many books as I want. I want to write till my fingers fall off (OK, maybe not that).

You get the jist.

I'm free. I can do and be whatever I want. And you know what? That's terrifying.

I'm lost. I've followed this structure for so long. Now what?

I don't have all the answers yet. But for now, at least right at this very moment, I'm so thankful to have been able to receive such an amazing education. And to be able to say I'm graduating with my bachelors in communication at 21 is an accomplishment in itself.

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For My Friend Who Made Me Feel Like A Burden When My Mental Health Was Deteriorating

And to a hypocritical ex-friend.

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Dear Jessie,

I really thought you were my best friend in high school.

We spent a lot of time together at school and outside of school, getting into deep conversations and bonding. We'd go shopping on the weekends or chill at your house and paint and watch "Friends".

But apparently, I was wrong about you.

You cut me off as a friend freshmen year of college for no reason.

You judged me based on someone else's opinion, decision, and experience. And I wasn't even in the wrong. Adam was my boyfriend before Sierra's, and she was dating someone else anyway.

Apparently, you also spoke badly about me behind my back and had the audacity to say that I talked badly about you behind your back, when I didn't. I think the only bad thing I said was that your little sister was annoying, which you also said yourself.

I never talked badly about your religious beliefs, and whoever you heard that from was wrong. And I'm 95% sure it was Jacquie who told you or started that rumor. Come on, she tried to break you and Sierra's friendship, and everyone's friendships, because she was a petty, jealous brat and you know that!

Honestly, I think all of this was just an excuse to get rid of me and our friendship. And I think you especially did this because my mental health wasn't so great. I was depressed a lot and you treated me and my condition like a burden.

Which wasn't fair; you had depression and anxiety and I was always there for you. Never once did I treat you like a burden.

You made me out to be the bad guy Jessie. You refused to admit your own mistakes, and instead falsely pointed the finger at me.

And for that, I will never forgive you.

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