The day I got engaged was the happiest day of my life. Little did I know that getting engaged would change the opinions of everyone around me. I was no longer seen as my own person, just someone's soon-to-be wife.
I have wanted to be a lawyer since high school. I interned with a lawyer. I chose a major that would help me do better in law school. I take school seriously. I did it all so that I could accomplish my dream. After I got engaged though, everyone began to question whether I would actually go to law school, or even finish college. Even the people closest to me began to doubt me.
My own accomplishments were soon forgotten, and I was expected to follow my new fiancee where ever he went in his goal to become a Marine. Suddenly, his career was more important than mine, all because his ring was on my finger. Questions changed from how I was doing in school, to when we wanted to have kids. No longer was I commended on my goals, I was chastised for not following my man. Or pitied for having to worry about my career before I could be with him.
I am more than my engagement. I have my own goals. I have no desire to stay home and raise children. And there is nothing wrong with that. It is time we stop expecting women to want nothing more than to be a wife. It is time we see women as valuable on our own. It is time we stop putting men first.
A report by the Wyoming Survey and Analysis Center demonstrated how far from equal the "Equality State" is when it comes to the wage gap. The survey showed men in Wyoming, with only a high school diploma, make more annually than women with a bachelor's degree. And women only make $.69 to every dollar men make.
If we do not learn to treat women's goals the same way we treat men, how can we ever expect to shrink that gap. It was not men who questioned my goals, it was primarily women. How can we expect to be seen as equal, when we do not seek equal treatment for ourselves and other women. How can we expect women to shoot for their goals, when we do nothing but doubt and belittle them?
To all the women out there, whether you identify as feminist or not, I hope you acknowledge that women are just as capable of doing anything a man can do. I think it is time we seek out the value in each other. It is time we realize being married changes nothing about our ability to accomplish what we want. It is OK to want to focus on a career. It is OK to want to stay home and raise children. What is not OK is making a woman feel like she is only of value when attached to a man.
