For most of my life, I have avoided almost any kind of physical expression. I have always been one to hide my body or become shy and shut down when people look at me. I have also mostly been an individual who hides behind her own wall in classroom settings, constantly feared that whatever I said would be "stupid" or "annoying." When I signed up to take four studio art classes this semester, I made the promise to myself to become more vulnerable with my projects. I was going to really express myself and allow my art to open me up.
In just the past few months, I have noticed myself speaking out more and taking more risks. During critiques, I used to sit and doze off in the back. Now, I actively participate in the conversation, offering feedback or advice.
In my own personal pieces, I have started exploring the conceptual side of art, using metaphor to show a deeper part of me. In my photography class, I put together a huge self-portrait project dealing with sexual liberation. My hands shook presenting the photos, but my nerves were calmed with a large amount of positive feedback.
Just the other day, I modeled for my friend's project. I was nude in a bath full of water covered only by a sheer sheet. At first, I was uncomfortable with my fat rolls but quickly loosened up.
People really don't lie when they say you receive back what you put into your work. Ever since I have promised to put myself into my work, the world has started revealing things to me and giving me the courage to speak my mind. I have started realizing I am a powerful woman with many intelligent and insightful things to add to this life. I am more comfortable exploring what my body, mind, and soul can do. I have allowed myself to become at ease in classroom settings. So, thank you art department for giving me confidence.
