Although the term “MILF” is now practically a household name, there is a reason why I specifically chose the “Hot Mess” mom to stand up against. Rather than the "hot twenty-something-year-old" who is actually having more, or rather, better sex.

This is all theoretical, of course, there are no solid stats to back up; just good old fashioned experience and observation. Sure, when you’re young and beautiful, there may be a larger demographic of those who are, um, attracted to you.

I mean, the messy mom-bun and stained yoga pants may do it for some, but I’d wager that more are drawn to the tight, toned, and well-maintenanced group. I once belonged to that group, at least I think I did. I spent hours in the gym, hours shopping for the most flattering outfits, hours getting my hair, face, and body prepped to turn the most heads.

I turned a few heads in my day, went on some dates, “kissed” a few frogs if you will. Let me tell you, from my experience and those of my friends (because girls talk about it, too!) the kissing is loads better these days. So to help enlighten others (and maybe give a few some hope, too) here’s a list of why that hot mess mom might be having way better sex than you.

10. Yoga pants.

Have you seen them? They’re tight, sometimes see-through, and super comfortable. Sure, maybe some moms just wear them because who ever heard of yoga pants that cause muffin tops, but the mom who rocks yoga pants on a regular basis-unashamed and glorious: that woman is comfortable in her own (maybe not so jiggle-free) skin. That lack of self-consciousness can lead to a lot more fun in the bedroom.

9. Dad-bods.

How can Dad-bods possibly lead to better sex? Well have you ever dated a personal trainer/gym rat? They may be fun to look at, but they’re often super into themselves (sorry to stereotype here) and sometimes it feels like they’d rather be staring at themselves naked than you: awkward. Not so with the dad-bod gentlemen. They’ve got little time to be super into themselves, and they're kind of stoked to be privy to any nudity stretch marks and all) that doesn’t have to be chased down and diapered.

8. Age.

With age, comes wisdom for some. Like being wise to what feels good and what doesn’t. Hot-mess moms-if given a moment of adult time-do not waste it in a silent and naive hope that their partner will one day, somehow find something that, um, works for both of you. Nobody’s got time for that.

7. No more “all-nighters.”

“All-night” makes hot-mess mom’s skin crawl. Terrible flashbacks of young guys with something to prove. Maybe that was fun when there were no stubby little fingers to pry open your eyelids at 6 on a Saturday morning. But now? Now that just sounds like a whole lot of inefficiency. The only alluring thing that takes place for hours at night is sleep. Hot mess mom is not sad about it; she gets done in twenty minutes what it’s taking you young people hours to do.

6. Babies.

She’s had a few, she knows how things work. There may be a few extra stretch marks or c-section scars.There may be some terrifying flashbacks from when life got “real” in the labor and delivery room, for both her and her partner. But if they both survived it and are still into each other years later, there’s a comfort level there that can only be reached between two people who have seen strange things come out of weird places on the other’s body.

5. Sneaky sex.

Have you’ve ever experienced the excitement that comes from almost getting caught? Okay, well imagine that like all the time. And even more intense, because at least you won’t permanently scar a roommate if they accidentally walk in on you. Welcome to hot mess mom’s life.

4. Orgasms.

There, I said it. Hot mess moms know them well. Twenty-somethings: eh, not so much. Maybe times have changed, but let’s just say from the random data collected over the years, not many are. There’s all this self-conscious stuff that goes on in the early days of sexual exploration “How do I look? How do I sound? Oh God, what was that noise? Is that supposed to feel like that? WHAT IS HAPPENING?! Are we done here? Yeah, I guess we are...” Maybe it’s the lack of sleep, maybe it’s the lack of care (see Reason #3), but hot mess mom learned how to turn off her brain ages ago, and that leaves room for just...feeling pretty damn good.

3. Actual yoga.

Less running on the treadmill, and more stretching and breathing. Stretching and breathing works wonders for the body. End of story. (But most exercise in general releases endorphins=more feeling good.)

2. Years of, um, practice.

You know how the saying goes. It’is true. Imagine two strangers entering a ballroom dance contest with no dance experience. They’re probably not going home with any trophies, but that couple who’s been practicing the merengue for nearly a decade: they might just take home the grand prize.

1. Appreciation.

Hot mess moms may spend their days chauffeuring, cooking, cleaning, wiping little people’s mouths, noses, etc on their clothes. They don’t spend most of the day fighting off the corny pickup lines and unsolicited attention. So when she and Mr. Dadbod get some time alone and he throws all of his attention and dusty pickup lines at her, she might just be into it. There’s just something sexy about a guy who sees the woman hiding beneath the unwashed hair and stained t-shirt.

Sex is something that is so marketed as a thing for the young and gorgeous that it feels bizarre to write about someone other than a supermodel having great sex. But it happens people, and in my experience (though no supermodel) it gets way better. For the young and beautiful: keep practicing (like I need to tell you that)...safely and selectively, of course. And next time you see that crazy mom running around in her yoga pants, know that you can’t always judge a book by its stretchy cover.