You might not be ready to be a real mom, but a friend group mom is just as good.

You might not be ready to be a real mom, but a friend group mom is just as good.

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To me, being a mom means putting others before yourself, making sure they have everything they need, and trying your hardest to give them everything they want. It means making sure that others are safe and happy, and to expect the unexpected by having a solution when all hell breaks loose. As a little girl, I always thought about what it would be like to grow up, find the guy of my dreams, have a few children, and raise the most perfect little family. There is so much for a mother to teach her children, but more importantly, it is a mother's job to protect her children. As a full time college student, working part time, and focused on her career, I could not be more sure that I am so not ready to reach that point in my life yet. However, I know I will be ready when the time comes because I have had more than enough practice taking care of my friends.


Everyone knows moms fix everything, often times by carrying everything, and being the "mom" of your friend group is no different. Since taking on the role of being a friend mom, my bag has gained a couple items including:

- band-aids to make boo boos better

- extra hair elastics so no one's hair falls in their face, the toilet or worse

- water bottles for a quick sober-up

- flip flops to replace heels after a long night

- garbage bags for those who just can't make it to the toilet


While the two are a little different, being a mom and playing a mom to your friends share quite a few similarities. Both are responsibilities that include preparing, packing and sometimes even feeding snacks to people who are incapable of feeding themselves. The job includes being the sober one at the party, being the designated driver, and making sure no one does anything too stupid. It also occasionally means waking up in the middle of the night to make fast food runs. Being a friend mom means making sure everyone makes it home safe, is changed into something comfortable to sleep in, is cleaned up, fed, and has a place to sleep. Often times, being a mom means doing things you don't want to do- things like cleaning up after God knows what, giving up things that you would like to have for those who need them more than you, and just doing things that you might not really want to do, but that you know that you need to do.


As the "mom" of my friend group, it is important for me to acknowledge why I'm the friend mom. I wouldn't be able to hold this role if it weren't for my mother. Over the years, she has taught me everything that I have needed to know in order to survive, in order to take care of others, and most importantly, she has taught me what it means to love and be loved. Being a mom is something that you do for those you love; for those who you would do anything for. After a rough night, my friends thank me, but the thanks all comes back to my mom.

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22 New Things That I Want To Try Now That I'm 22

A bucket list for my 22nd year.

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"I don't know about you but I'm feelin' 22," I have waited 6 long years to sing that and actually be 22! Now 22 doesn't seem like a big deal to people because you can't do anything that you couldn't do before and you're still super young. But I'm determined to make my 22nd year a year filled with new adventures and new experiences. So here's to 22.

1. Go sky diving.

What's crazier than jumping out of a plane? (Although I'll probably try indoor skydiving first.)

2. Go cliff jumping/diving.

I must be the only Rhode Islander who hasn't gone to Jamestown and jumped off a cliff.

3. Ride in a hot air balloon.

Up, up and away.

4. Try out skiing.

Cash me in the next Olympics, how bout dat.

5. Try out snow boarding.

Shawn White, I'm coming for you.

6. Go bungee jumping.

Because at least this time I'll be attached to something.

7. Go to Portugal.

I mean I'm Portuguese so I have to go at some point, right?

8. Go to Cape Verde.

Once again, I'm Cape Verdean so I have to go.

9. Vist one of the seven wonders of the world.

I mean hey, Egypt's on, my bucket list.

10. Try out surfing.

It's only natural that somebody from the Ocean State knows how to surf.

11. Learn a new langauge.

Because my little bit of Portuguese, Spanish and Latin isn't cutting it anymore.

12. Travel to a state that I've never been to before.

Fun fact: I've only been to 17 of the 50 states.

13. Go paddle boarding.

Pretty boring but I've never done it.

14. Go scuba diving.

I'm from the Ocean State so I guess I should see the ocean up close and personal.

15. Learn how to line dance.

There's actually a barn in my state that does line dancing, so this one will definitely get crossed off.

16. Go kayaking.

All this water around me and I haven't done a lot of the water activites.

17. Stay the night in a haunted hotel room.

I bet if I got my friends to come with me, it would be like the Suite Life of Zach and Cody episode, minus the ghost coming out of the wall but you never know.

18. Get my palms read.

Because who doesn't want to know their future.

19. Go to a medium.

Like a medium that can communicate with people that have died.

20. Take a helicopter ride.

Air plane: check Helicopter:....

21. Sleep under the stars.

Because sleeping in a tent is more like glamping than camping

22. Just to try new things in my everyday life.

Whether it's trying a new restaurant, getting something different at my usual restaurants, changing my usual style, going on the scary rides at amusement parks, and bringing things I used to do back into my life now.

Cover Image Credit:

Author's illustration

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I'm learning to speak up

I'm too scared to ask for what I want.

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I know I am not alone when I say that I don't always explicitly ask for things because I don't want to cause problems or extra work for anyone. I also have this fear of being shot down (even though this guaranteed to happen many more times in my lifetime). So, instead, I make do with what I have. This includes tiny situations like ordering a medium iced coffee from the Dunkin' Donuts drive-thru and being given a small straw when I wanted a large one and more important situations like not speaking with my boss when I think I am not being paid enough.

As I have gotten older, I've realized this fear not only prevents me from standing up for myself, but it also allows others to take advantage of me. I don't fully understand why I am continuously scared of speaking up. I know there's a possibility someone can refute what I am saying or prove me wrong but is that truly a substantial reason to not use my voice and ask for something? I also understand the world won't end if these things do happen, as they happen quite often, so why does the fear still linger?

I am very tired of being pushed around and walked over because people know I don't like to open my mouth and say something. From now on, I have to put on my big girl pants and speak up for myself if I want to bring something to someone's attention. I would be the first person to speak out for someone else if he or she needed something and too scared to say something, therefore it is time I do the same for myself. I deserve to insert my voice no matter the size of the issue.

I encourage everyone that shares my same fear to take a deep breath and ask for what they want or need. I know it is scary, but we don't deserve to be pushed aside because we aren't as forward as others.

I'm very happy to say that when I picked up my Dunkin' Donuts medium iced coffee this morning I was handed the smaller straw. I then asked for the bigger one.

Cover Image Credit:

Emma Looby

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