I do not want the title of my article to give anyone the wrong idea, I do in fact love my mother, and I appreciate everything she has done for my sister and I. I am also not calling her my best friend because we have a “broken” relationship or because she is a cold woman. Of course every relationship has its quirks, but from my perspective I would call our relationship steady and supportive. The reason I do not call my mother my best friend is because I respect the family dynamic she established in our household and respect the, authority position if you will, that comes with being a mother.
My mother is a single-mom of two and like a majority of moms, has always put her kids first. To this day my sister and I are still amazed at how she started her day at 5a.m., got off of work around 6:30p.m. and was still able to make it home and get us ready for an event that started at 7p.m. She truly is a remarkable woman and I do not know where I would be without her today. She is brave, strong, and beautiful, but because I admire her that does not mean that she has to be my best friend.
From a young age my mom let us know who ran the house and let us know when we could play and when she meant business. I suppose that is due to the fact she had to take on the roles of both Mom and Dad. If we happened to let an eye-roll escape or started to use that tone of voice with her she would tell us, “I am not one of your friends you can roll attitude with” or if we decided to be bold and use extra sass she would sternly say, “I am your mother not your friend.” In those moments, that regret crept in because we realized we had crossed the line, an order was created, one that is still in effect in my mom’s household. When I was younger sometimes I would wish that our dynamic were different but as I got older I began to appreciate the relationship that my mother and I do have. I truly believe that because of our relationship I have learned to be independent and strive to be the best woman I can become.
Every now and then my classmates and I would wind up on the subject of moms and that would then pave the way to discussing mom and son or mom and daughter relationships. The girls that would say their mom was their best friend and could tell their mom anything always intrigued me. I remember on one occasion asking my classmate what does she do when her mom yells at her and she replied, “I laugh.” I was waiting for her to go on and say that her mom then yells even louder or something, but she explained to me that because her mom is her best friend she does not take her seriously whenever she tries to discipline her. In retrospect this makes sense because if my best friend, who is always cracking jokes and making me laugh nine times out of ten, switched up the role on me and tried to call me out of my room to do the dishes I just might giggle because that is not our normal relationship.
My mother is not my best friend not because I do not trust her or value her; she is not my best friend because I respect her as my mother and provider. I enjoy that we do not share every little intimate detail with each other. To me, if you have a private part of your life then it should in fact stay private. My mother may not be my best friend but I am still able to talk to her and ask her for advice, cry on her shoulder if I am having a bad day, and I can even crack jokes with her and we laugh until we cannot breathe. I do not look down on those who say that their mom is their best friend; that relationship is something special and is what works for that mother and child. Our relationship is solid and is what works for us. I love my mother and would not change our relationship or her for the world.
