I think growing up is really hard. Surprise, surprise. Life is not always as easy as I dreamt it would be. I have met some great people growing up and continue to during the life I am living. There was a consequence to that. I had to leave my home to attend college. Currently, I am sitting 162 miles away from the place I call home. More importantly, I am sitting away from the people I call home. The amazing people and adventure that I was fortunate enough to be on have been great. Although breaking their hearts to get there, I will forever be so sorry for doing so. Mom and dad, I am sorry and I will never be able to say it enough.

It all started before I had even received my license. Just as a little girl, mom would not only keep the house clean, she would always have a home cooked meal, clean clothes, and attention to give. Meanwhile, while she’s doing that, dad is fixing this broken toy, outside painting the latest science project, or giving us rides into town. The most I think I have said to thank them was just asking for more favors, complained because they weren’t there right on time, or expected them to do this, that, and the other.

High school hit. I knew better than mom and dad. The advice that they gave to me was nothing but a suggestion at the time. Guess who proved to be right most of the time? The parents were right. Instead of taking their advice, they stood by to watch me make my own mistakes and learn from them. Each broken hearted mistake I made, I know killed my mom internally and shattered the fact that dad couldn’t protect me like they both tried so hard to do. I kept making my own mistakes time and time again. Yet, there mom and dad stood, with opened arms, waiting for me find comfort in them.

I think the worse thing I ever did to mom and dad has left them for college. Luckily, I am only two hours away. The night before I left for school, mom told me that I might start off with calling her a few times a day. Eventually, I would begin to call her less and less. As naive as I was, I promised her I wouldn’t do that. I’ll call every day! Guess what I did? I began to call her less and less to where I now call once a week, if that.

Dad will usually hear my news from mom, or I might send a quick text. The day they left me for college, I cried like a baby. They cried and turned to walk out to leave me with the brand new world I was given. As I stared out my window wondering what I had done, the door creaked open and Mom came back in. She said something then that I will never forget, “Hey, pretty girl. You’re going to be alright.” With one last quick hug, she left again, and I stood there tearing out her, dad’s, and my heart.

Now here I am, four years later since that moment, getting ready to graduate. As I scurry along to send out applications, I notice that slowly the resumes are being sent out to jobs further and further away from home. Mom and dad, these are not being sent out to get away from either of you. Coming from a small town, you understand the opportunity that I can find outside of here. How unfair is that to you both? You raised me, taught me everything I know, and have become the best friends and teachers I have ever needed. Then I walk out.

I know for a fact I owe my parents so much more than a simple ‘sorry’ or a quick ‘thanks’. I owe them a mansion that I will someday give as a Christmas present after making lots of money. mom and dad, I owe you my life. I owe everything that I am, what I have done and where I go with success to you. You have given me so much. How have I repaid you? By continuing to make you my last priority. I know that is not how you see it. I know you are proud and you support me. Someday, I will make this all for you both.

I need you to do one last thing: support me when I say how sorry I am to you. I am not me without the both of you. Thanks for everything you have done for me. I am sorry for everything I have done to you. I love you more than words can explain.