One evening, I decided that a bagel with whipped cream cheese sounded like a satisfying snack. I eagerly plugged in the toaster, peeled the two halves of an onion bagel apart, and plopped them into the metal slits. Imagining how good the bagel was going to taste, I pressed the lever on the toaster that would soon be notifying me of my perfectly crisp food.
Continuing to salivate about the snack I would be enjoying so soon, I opened the refrigerator to replace the other bagels for another time and then retrieved the cream cheese. What would be even more satisfying than biting into the toasted bagel was coating the delicate fluff of whipped cream cheese on top.
As I smelled the bagel becoming crispier and the slight remnants of bread crumbs lingering in the bottom of the toaster start to burn, I excitedly lifted the lid off of the cream cheese container to prepare for the popping of the bagel from the top of the toaster to slather with this airy goodness. To my complete shock, an ugly patch of greenish mold crept from the side of the container into the pure white whipped topping.
There was mold growing in my cream cheese container!
A slight deviation from accepting reality, I quickly thought to myself that perhaps using the other side of the container to salvage some cream cheese where mold was not visible might be okay to do; however, that thought lasted for a mere second.
Suddenly, I was overcome with a wave of disappointment; my craving for a toasted bagel and cream cheese could no longer be fulfilled. As my onion bagel popped happily out of the top of the toaster, I glanced at it out of spite. What was I supposed to do now?
Replacing the lid on the cream cheese, I checked the expiration date of the product that I had seldom even used. This cream cheese had an expiration date that was still a month away. So why was my cream cheese expired then?
I tossed the cream cheese into the trash can, while that bare bagel remained propped up in the toaster. Re-entering the refrigerator, I scanned for a replacement to dress my bagel with. I found some butter.
Butter on an onion bagel? This did not sound appealing to me. Butter is for toast, not bagels. What I truly wanted was cream cheese to spread on my bagel, not butter. I didn't have to eat the bagel, but I was hungry and knew that I did still want to eat the bagel. Ultimately, I settled for using the butter instead of cream cheese.
My initial reaction to having something that I did not plan on using to complete my evening snack was a disappointment, that soon turned into annoyance, which eventually plateaued into acceptance. All within the few minutes that this experience elapsed, I suddenly connected this minuscule moment to any general experience in life.
Life is full of expectations. We spend so much time daydreaming in the future as we idealize what we hope is going to happen, when it is going to happen, and how we are going to react to said event. However, time after time, we come to face that reality never unfolds based on how we anticipated it to. Sometimes this can mean that things ended up being easier than we conjured them up to be in our minds; sometimes this can mean that things ended up being extremely challenging in ways that we could never have predicted. Either way, our expectations rarely match how events commence.
Consequently, we should pursue living life as mindfully as possible. Present in the moment awareness is the only way to truly acknowledge and start to understand what is happening within us and around us in this capacious world. Through cultivating mindfulness, we can open ourselves to all of the challenges and celebrations that we are exposed to and figure out how to handle them right then and there rather than planning how we think we may handle any event that might not even happen.
When preparing my snack, I never expected my cream cheese to have mold growing in it, nor did I want my cream cheese to have mold growing in it. I felt the sensations of disappointment and annoyance but then moved on to problem-solve. While this was not a major problem to solve, as it was more of an inconvenience for satisfying my cravings, I found an alternative. Using butter to top my bagel was not my initial intention, my primary preference or something that I ever imagined would be pleasing. However, after I used it, the bagel still tasted good.
Expanding this minor life experience to the broader context of the world, I know that life with present us with a plethora of teases that we will never be able to predict or prepare for. Yet, there is always going to be a way to get through those moments. Trying something new may present us with a creative alternative that we never considered.
And it may be just as satisfying.
