1. Believe in yourself

How often do you actually believe in yourself? How often can you look in the mirror, and be grateful for everything you and your body have gone through? How often are you nice to yourself?

It may seem like something so tiny, but it makes the world of a difference. The conversations you have with yourself are the most important. It took me a while to realize how mean I was treating myself. Not only was I mean and disgusting, but I never took a moment to believe in what I was doing. I expected my body to be able to starve for three days and be okay... WHAT?!

I know a lot of us always want to be thinner, and be healthier, and blah blah basic new year resolutions. I've learned the hard way that constricting diets, and over-exercising will never get you the long term results you deserve. The first step into accomplishing any goals is envisioning the end result, and believing that you can do it! Wherever you need to get your confidence or faith, you need to do it in the most sincere and honest way. There's no point in convincing yourself you can lose 3 lbs, if you don't actually believe it.

2. Make your goals very clear

Wether you need to write them down, or make a new list on your phone, you need to be clear on what is the intended goal, and how exactly you're going to accomplish those goals. Generally, we all want to lose some weight, but when we write down how exactly we are going to do that it changes things. When you are honest with yourself, and how much work it's going to take to get there, it makes our goals seem more attainable and realistic.

Even if you want to be skinnier without working out, you have to be very clear on how hard you are able to work. If you don't want to put in that much effort, it's okay, but don't expect over night results. If you want to put a lot of work, know that consistency is key! You need to know what results you expect by the end of the week and so forth. DO not be scared to write down every detail!

3. Baby steps

We all know baby steps, but most of us get discouraged by this term. There's nothing worse than eating a salad every day for a week, and then stepping on the scale just to realize you've only lost 2 lbs, YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KID- yeah we've all been there.

The key to baby steps, is knowing your pace, and not checking too often. There are many things our body's go through the first week of change. If we expect to have results then, and they do not match our expectations it can be detrimental to our goals. It takes three months for new habits to form. If your goal is to go to get more sleep daily, you need to start with going to bed 20 minutes before you normally would. I know it's tempting, but you can't just do something drastically and expect to work every single time. Be patient and trust the process of baby steps!

Set realistic steps to accomplish what you want. And be honest, it's okay if it takes you longer. There's nothing worse than trying to jump the line, and not eat for 3 days, to suddenly eating an entire pizza when you're drunk asf!

4. Surround yourself with people who support your goals

This is probably the hardest! There are three types of people. People that do not support you, and say it to your face. People that "support" you, but secretly want you to fail, and people that have the same goals as you and want you to succeed.

Dairy makes me feel like shit, and sadly it's something that I've had to learn to control. Most people don't understand, and say rude comments like, "come on just have some cheese." It's not that I don't want the freaking cheese Paulina! It's just that if I do, I will literally shit my brains out and be bloated for 13 days okay?! Okay.

Until I learned to have better self control, I started to hang out around people that have my same goals, and it is one of the best decisions I have made. I mean, there's nothing worse than telling your friends you aren't eating carbs, and they are eating a cupcake and ask if you want one. Like damn Becky, did you not hear me say I'm not having carbs, you self sabotaging no-good-of-a-friend.

5. Reward yourself

Treat yo self, no seriously girl treat yourself. I think we associate rewards with eating cupcakes, or spending money. Instead just set time aside and do a facial, meditate, journal, do something that is not detrimental to the gains you have achieved, and instead thank your body and yourself for what you have achieved.

Rewarding yourself doesn't mean you have to to Sephora and blow your money. There are so many little things you can do. Like take a bomb ass selfie, ask that hot guy at the gym out for dinner, message someone you usually wouldn't, get a coffee and talk to the first stranger you see, or have hateful sex with your ex. Make it meaningful to you, damn it!

6. Be realistic with what you want

Want a big fat J-Lo booty? Well sorry to break it to you, but she actually gets butt injections and she slaves herself over that body, so unless you actually want to do that, you need to shift your goals just a little babe!

Be realistic, if you want a stripper booty, you're probably going to have to do some stripper things. If you just want a cute little perky apple butt, the gym is your best friend! Whatever it is you are trying to accomplish, be realistic with what it is you need to do to achieve your goals. If you want to be more social, you need to practice with people in your day to day life first. Start by saying good morning to people. My trick is saying good morning to people I take the elevator with, and it has helped me tremendously. I used to be so scared to get rejected, and don't get me wrong I still do, but I've noticed that most people love talking back, they just don't have the balls to talk to you first. You have to know what you want, and go for it.

I know it's easier said than done, but be realistic, you can't grow and be everything you want without a little discomfort!

7. Don't punish yourself

Okay, so maybe you said you were going to detox yourself from your psycho ex, but you still hit him up at 2 am after half a bottle of wine, ooops! Honestly, don't punish yourself, you are only twenty something, you're not supposed to be an expert! You have literally just started living, and don't know how to make good habits yet.

Don't get me wrong, be disappointed and do what you need to do, but know that sometimes you fail, not because you are weak, but because it takes a while to become the best version that you want to be. You can't just magically hope to be better, it actually takes a lot of work, and you will fail a couple of times before you figure it out.

I'm a strong believer that sometimes, you need to get things out of your system. You need to get that stupid fuckboy out of your system so you no longer get confused a couple of years from now. Honestly, don't be too hard on yourself and know that you're probably going to fail a couple of times before you are able to be strong!

8. Remind yourself why you started

Whatever that means to you! Do you need to take pictures every week and get positive feedback from your followers? Or do you need to call your mom and cry to her for a little? Maybe you need to call your booty call and have a couple drinks that end up in wayyyy to many drinks! I get it, but most importantly, do you get it?

Sometimes we get stuck in the process, and forget why we are even doing what we are doing. I know it sounds weird as heck, but it helps when I talk to myself. I remind myself why I want the things that I do, and why not having a donut right now is the best thing for me, because I KNOW I will be pissed at myself the moment I do!

9. Have motivational quotes when you feel like quitting

You would be surprised at how much this actually works. I actually have a book of leaderships quotes that I try to read once a week before dealing with people in ROTC. The quotes help me, because in reading them I realize that it takes consistency to build character.

My favorite quote is, "If you don't believe in yourself, why is anyone else going to believe in you" – Tom Brady.

10. Enjoy the journey

Honestly, we get it, we want results. But don't starve yourself for it. Do it slowly, and for the long term goal of it. I know it's easy to give in, and that is exactly why you shouldn't! That's what differentiates good people from great people! Do what you need to, so the journey is more fun. Wether that's sharing your goals with your friends, on posting it online, or even blogging about it!