Let's face it, as much as we hate to admit it, we're a generation who lives for the thrill of the chase. We feed off of it like animals. We take pride in showing off what we have to offer, whether it may be from our latest Instagram post or from our dating app bios.
We love playing the field as much as we love being the ref. So let the games begin.
Picture this. You match with that cute guy/girl you've been wanting to talk to on Hinge. You exchange a few light yet flirty messages, introducing yourselves, and sharing a few interests. You exchange numbers. Texting is going well and you're getting to know each other better. Talking from the "good morning" to the "goodnight." You both decide it's time to meet so you hangout for the first time and hit it off.
Then what...?
Most of you who just read that can probably infer that the pair ends the night with hooking up. Then they continue to text, they may hangout a few more times, hook up, and then when potential next steps could be taken without a red flag in sight... things begin to slow down. No more "good morning" and "good night" texts. They become strangers.
Why is that the norm for Gen Zers? I could rant about this all day, but I'll let my peers take the reins on this one.
Here's what 30 Gen Zers think the biggest problem with dating is:
"The expectation to text or Snapchat each other constantly."
- Kevin, 24
"Communication issues due to phones. People don't know how to express themselves anymore."
- Amanda, 22
"The emphasis on going out and drinking instead of doing activities."
- Izzy, 22
"Nobody wants to fix broken things. We'd rather replace it with something new."
- Tyten, 21
"People are still too immature and sexualize too much. I want to go back to the '80s when everyone just wanted to go to the diner and drive-in movies. I don't want to 'hook up' and then never talk again. I genuinely want to have a good time."
- Jenna, 19
"Honestly because everyone nowadays is so focused on sex before a connection."
- Jen, 22
"The hook up/non-committal culture and how people have normalized cheating. We shouldn't praise people for being loyal and doing the bare minimum. There are some of us out here that still expect loyalty."
- Alex, 24
"You might be dating someone that isn't looking to date."
- Vic, 20
"People are too picky and are always looking for something better, especially with the prevalence of dating apps."
- Erika, 24
"Loyalty."
- Shannon, 23
"The 'talking' phase. No one can even define it because it means something different to everyone."
- Daniel, 22
"Men no longer court girls, take them out to dinner, open the car door, or even send them flowers. Those are all out the window nowadays. The only time they're willing to spend on a girl is on a couch watching Netflix or Disney+ while trying to pursue some action. Dating has lost its meaning in its entirety in our generation."
- Mackenzie, 23
"Unrealistic expectations and a lack of self-awareness of who actually wants to date."
- Celeste, 23
"Everyone is so preoccupied with hookup culture. I feel like it's largely due to our generation's shortened attention span that's spread to romantic relationships among other aspects of our daily lives."
- Max, 23
"Finding someone who wants to actually commit to a relationship."
- Mary, 22
"Many people don't believe in love or romantic gestures."
- Lily, 19
"There's no dating anymore... you go on one date, have sex, and then you're either together or just fuck buddies. There's no excitement with having a first, second, or third date."
- Gray, 24
"I just hate 'talking' to someone. All that leads to is a higher chance of being on different pages, games, and unwanted stress."
- Mark, 18
"I feel like guys today don't know how to react. I know it's cliche and a lot of guys typically do, but it's like younger guys clam up. They don't even get mad, they just shut off."
- Angie, 22
"It can be hard to tell the difference between love and infatuation. Just because you really want to be with someone, doesn't mean they're marriage material."
- Shwe, 24
"Many people don't have a long-term goal."
- Bre, 23
"Social media. I think social media makes it so easy for us to talk to whoever, whenever we want. I think it makes it easier for people to cheat and people who are getting cheated on have better chances of finding out. Almost everything you do and/or say can be documented."
- Emily, 21
"Repressing small problems instead of communicating them."
- Makenzie, 19
"When you're forced to text and it's hard to understand their personality. It's the only option once you meet someone and when you're not physically with them. No one ever wants to FaceTime right away or call so its either texting or Snapchat until someone makes a move. It's annoying and people can be good at texting but others may not be, it's like a barrier."
- Megan, 24
"People get the wrong idea with the word 'date' and then think it means 'sex.'"
- Freya, 21
"The multitude of distractions and temptations these days on social media."
- Bella, 24
"I think it's complicated AF. You first must get to know each other and then once you like him/her, you must keep it to yourself, otherwise, the other person might take you for granted. I always feel so much pressure from social media and the fact that the dude I may like is following super hot girls. It's hard to trust people nowadays and it's scary, especially if you've had your heart broken before."
- Maria, 23
"Playing games. It might be fun at first but it gets really annoying once you're getting to know someone."
- Christian, 19
"It's easy to check the 'greener' grass on the other side."
- Jasmijn, 24
"People don't know how to hold conversations because they only text, no phone calls."
- Julia, 22
It's time to cut out the bull and realize everyone's time is precious. I, myself am a Gen Zer and I'm sick of the mind-fucking. The unclear terms and gray areas in dating that only lead to confusion and a whole lot of wasted energy. We rely on apps and the idea of having our cake and eating it too. I for one, am tired of cake.
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