As a person with mixed heritage, there are many situations I go through on a somewhat regular basis that I’m sure many people who look “unique” or “a little different” can relate to. To break it down, my mom’s mom is Hispanic with roots in Nicaragua. All of my other grandparents are white, making me 25% Latina. As a resident of Pittsburgh, which boasts a Hispanic population of 2 percent, this can be a source of curiosity for quite a few of my peers. Usually my background isn’t that big of a deal -- just something to ask a few questions about -- but after a dinner last week, during which my acquaintance told me she didn’t believe I had any white blood in me, I decided to write down a few of my experiences and what the best way to ask someone their heritage is.

When I was a hostess at a restaurant in a primarily upper-middle class, Caucasian suburb, a couple came up to my desk as they were leaving. “Excuse me,” the man said, “But my wife and I just had a quick question for you – we were watching you throughout our meal and couldn’t figure it out. What’s your background?” In response, I smiled my best fake smile and replied that I am three-quarters white, and yes, one-quarter Hispanic. Yes, I know it’s the hair. Yes, this is a natural tan. No, my name is not Hispanic. My mom’s mom is from Nicaragua; it’s one of the countries below Mexico. Bye, thanks for coming.

As I’ve gotten older, and more specifically as I moved to Pittsburgh for college, I have been asked the same question in various forms with increasing frequency: What’s your background? What’s your ethnicity? Oh, you’re from New York? OK, but where are you from? And my personal favorite, What are you?

The first time someone asked me “What are you?,” my mouth almost dropped open in shock. I knew what they were asking, but the way in which it was worded was insulting. "I’m a person," I wanted to reply.

This question becomes the bane of my existence during parties, where the lighting is dim and makes me appear tanner. People, particularly boys, like to make my background a conversation starter. “Hey, you look kinda different. I think it’s your hair maybe. Are you wearing colored contacts?" I usually reply "No?" They reply, "Oh, OK, so like, are you not all white?” Then comes the typical fetishization that makes me feel sorry for Latina women who are subject to lines like this every day of their lives. “Mamacita! Can you say something in Spanish? Are you a really good dancer?” Cue me motioning that I’m going to get another drink; I need another one if we’re going to continue this conversation.

These questions are not solely confined to strangers: I have a friend who likes to ask people that she introduces me to what they think my ethnicity is. When they guess anything from Italian to part Middle Eastern, she laughs and asks if they’ve ever heard of a country called Nicaragua, because that’s where I’m from.

I am fully aware that I am incredibly lucky to have Caucasian heritage -- my white appearance gives me certain advantages, even in this day and age. While I fully appreciate my somewhat-diverse background, it does not define me, and I’m not a fan of people making my ethnicity a game or source of entertainment. If you are curious of my background, that’s totally fine and I’ll be happy to answer any questions you have. But please don’t start with, “What are you?”