Do We Mistake Comfort For Love?

Do We Mistake Comfort For Love?

There's a difference between comfort and complacency.
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If there is anything that I've learned about love, I've learned that it hurts. I've learned that sometimes, you can give someone all you have, and still find yourself feeling hollow and empty. I've learned that love is a curse and a blessing, all rolled into one. Most importantly, I learned that we often love everyone else in the world more than we love ourselves, and that is not okay.

I know the concept of mistaking comfort for love better than anyone. I grew up in a family of five, with people to rely on, always. The feeling of dependency and having someone there to take care of me and pick me up when I fall was something that my body was so used to. I always knew that I had a safety net to fall back on if I did anything wrong or risky. But it wasn't before long that I realized not every safety net is permanent.

At some point, you have to grow up and build your own.

I realized this at once as soon as I left my permanent home for college, and once again when I replaced them with someone very dear to me. It happens. You replace the love your family gives you with people you find in college. This phenomenon is healthy and normal until it transforms into one big bubble of emotional needs and romantic gestures. I had a dependency that would hurt me in the long run, and thankfully I realized it because it was too late. I used to strongly believe that comfort and love were the same. A part of me still does. But the more comfortable you are with being by yourself, the less you rely on other people to show you what you're worth.

Self-love is a difficult concept and majority of us are not very good at it. But what self-love teaches you is that when you love yourself for exactly who you are, your flaws, your strengths, everything combined, you give set yourself a standard for the love you receive. Give yourself the time and space to discover what really makes your heart beat, what makes you happy, and what your purpose on this Earth really is. None of these questions are easy to answer, which is what makes self-love so hard to attain. But if I've learned anything about being comfortable with myself, it is that it starts at your very core. Your ability to say no to the things you don't want, your ability to keep it together when a very dear person to you leaves your life.

Comfort and love are two mutually exclusive things, but they do go hand in hand. If I was never as comfortable as I was with my partner, then I wouldn't have felt the connection I did. But when I got too comfortable, I stopped taking care of myself. I stopped worrying about what I wanted. All my "I"s turned into "we"s and I found myself struggling to even make the simplest of decisions. All in all, comfort is great. It reminds us of home and lets us be whoever we are with no judgments. But when comfort turns into complacency, we stop thinking for ourselves and that can be more detrimental to our existence than we think.






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20 Reasons You Should Date A Nurse, As Told By Their Significant Others

Who better to get advice from than the ones actually doing it?

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Have you ever wondered what it is like to date a nurse? Why do some people do it? Don't they have countless 12-hour shifts (including nights), bring home gross diseases, always tired, holidays are up in the air, and tell ungodly stories that make you nauseous? Well, there are a lot more bright sides we don't always see.

I could tell you that nurses are natural caretakers, compassionate, smart, a little sarcastic, patient, etc., or you can hear all that and more from people who actually date nurses.

So, I asked 20 couples to tell me why dating a nurse is the best decision you can make.

1. You get the best start to your day.

Ari and Victoria

"It means getting used to being woken up early in the morning by his goodbye kiss as he goes off to the hospital. As much as I hate my sleep being disturbed, I worry when I don't get my morning kiss." -Victoria

2. The BEST personalities come from nurses. 

Kristine And Makato

"You get to be with a person who has a genuine caring and nurturing personality. You get someone who can put themselves in your shoes and still find it within themselves to put aside their differences in order to make sure you are okay. You get a one of a kind individual that you feel can do anything because of what the field demands. You feel like the luckiest person in the world because of these things. ♥️♥️♥️" -Makato

3. No emergency will scare them away. 

Theresa and Andrew

"Ladies, you should date a nurse because you'll always have emergency care 24/7. Seriously, the other day I fell and cut my knee. He was over with supplies and basically performed a full freaking head to toe assessment before I even knew what happened. Also, have you ever seen a man in scrubs? It's really a win win situation" -Theresa

4. You probably don't need health insurance

Alyssa and Mike

"So I don't have to go to the doctor's every time my head hurts. You can help." -Mike

5. They have the best sense of style.

Jenny and Emily (basically each others significant others...bffs 4 lyfe)

"Date a nurse because they are kind, compassionate, and always there to take care of you. Sick? BOOM, they know what to do. Need someone that you can trust to talk to? BOOM, they'll listen and never tell a soul what you said. Like a girl in uniform? BOOM, scrubs all day every day." -Jenny

6. You have your own walking, talking, WebMD (without the whole "you're probably dying" thing). 

Taylor and Matt

"Date a nurse because anytime I do something stupid like fall in the river, dislocate my knee fishing, cut my hands on rusty objects, knock teeth loose, get sick, or worry about medical problems, I have my own personal WebMD." -Matt

7. You get random check ups. 

Hannah and Robert

"I was watching TV, and out of nowhere, she's checking my pulse. She tells you you're breathing too much. She tells you you're not breathing enough. It's constant check up's." -Robert

(In our defense, we check peoples respiratory rate for a living. I know when I see 24 breaths/min or 14 breaths/min. Let me be.)

8. Your anxiety will be diminished and you save a ton of money. 

Ari and Victoria

"I spend way less on doctor bills and medical supplies now that I can ask my boyfriend my medical questions instead of having to go to the doctor to be told I'm perfectly healthy. He keeps my hypochondria in check for sure. My response to the littlest pain or annoyance is no longer 'call an ambulance'."-Victoria

9. They know how to call out bullshit. 

Cheryl and Carmine

"You do not get a lot of sympathy - unless you are REALLY sick or hurt !" -Carmine

10. They are always willing to help out. Because of this, YOU get to help out by becoming a practice dummy! 

Sammi and Caleb

"When dating a nurse you become a patient 24/7. Any new thing she's learning in class, gets practiced on you. If you're thinking about dating a nurse I'll tell you this, DO IT! They'll always be looking to help anyone who's sick or not in a great place mentally and I believe that to be the greatest trait anyone could have and I see that in a majority of nurses" -Caleb

11. They change you for the better. 

Erica and Jack

"Okay so she makes me grossly healthy, when I want burger king or something like that she offers to make healthy burgers, she convinced me to quit cigarettes because it is unhealthy, she checks my blood pressure constantly and when it's bad she lets me know and I go to the doctor's" -Jack

12. You basically have your own superhero.

Bryanna and Ryan

"Uhhh, duhhh you should date a nurse because they save lives; you're basically dating a superhero." -Ryan

Isn't this all we wanted as kids?

13. There is no such thing as being "too gross". They've seen it all. 

Jocelynn and Brandon

"You should date a nurse because you'll have someone who's able to patch you up after a stupid night out with the guys. Plus, you get a girl who's always responsible and selfless who wears her heart on her sleeve on the job & off. Knows how to be serious, yet still manages to use her sense of humor. Also, I get to pick my nose & fart without her being disgusted by it (MOST TIMES)" -Brandon

14. You're confused a lot because of all the terminology they are excited to share with you, but  don't worry they'll explain it. (We know the doctors never do *cough* *cough* another reason to date a nurse). 

Julia and Will

"You confuse me with words of nursing that I've never heard of or can barely even pronounce. Be prepared for overthinking and stress. A good thing about dating a nurse would be they know how to help when you get sicky, and it's hard to gross them out." -Will

15. They'll deal with your shit...sometimes

Zoe and Bobby

"Cause they take care of you when you're sick, lol. And they have a lot of patience..."

16. Are you a nurse dating a nurse? You will understand each other and their struggles immensely. 

Stanley and Rachel

She said : "You should date a nurse because they're so caring & know how to take care of you & are really smart & hardworking (aka my baby)"

He said: "Date a nurse because they are the most passionate of people. They care harder than anyone else and they will always be concerned with you and making sure you are okay, not just outside with cuts and bruises but on the inside where it counts in your heart. Also like, we just get each other and understand the time and work it takes and that's friggin huge"

AKA, they're basically the same human.

17. You kinda sorta maybe get a free pass to do stupid shit, because your nurse will be there. 

Erin and Joe

"You can do stupid shit and not have to worry about going to the hospital because she'll take care of you when you ultimately get hurt"-Joe

18. You have a knight in shining...scrubs? Yea, scrubs. Scrubs are definitely more moveable than armor. They're always ready to come save you.  

Mary and Nate

"I would say, 'Dating a nurse is peace of mind knowing that they have things under control when you slice your finger open even though they're an hour away' -Nate

19. If you're still wondering if dating a nurse is best for you, take it from these ladies who LIVE WITH ONE. (They're basically each others significant others).

Sarah (the nurse) with all the ones who put up with her: Maggie, Jenna, Claudia, Sophie, and Mellissa

"They complain about a headache but won't take medicine. They will be unavailable for hours at a time when exams are coming up" -Jenna

"When they come home tired from clinical and get drunk they want to kiss everyone" -Sophie

"You'll learn more than you ever wanted to know about the human body. They'll talk sense into you if you go too deep into WebMD" -Jenna (again; she was very passionate about this topic)

"They become your own personal WebMD, more logical though"- Mellissa

This is a confirmation that everyone else's statements are correct.

20. But honestly though....

Jess and Filip

"The real question is, why would you NOT want to date a nurse?!?" -Filip

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Newsflash! It's Time For Everybody To Love Everybody

Come on, people, get it together.

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I, personally, think it's time for everybody to just start loving each other. Now listen, this doesn't mean you need to actually love everyone, but at least accept them. Acceptance is the closest thing we are gonna get to loving each other.

Let me tell you a little something: politics at the moment are very messy. No matter which side it is, it's messy. There is no denying that. If you try to deny that, then good for you, you're not helping anybody. If you really want some change, you need to start being the bigger person. Change isn't about who can yell about something louder or who has the "better" argument, it's about being respectful.

Just because someone has an opposing view does not mean you need to yell at them. Does yelling solve anything ever? Maybe temporarily, like for 2 minutes, but that's about as long as you're gonna get. There's absolutely no need to indirectly say something about certain individuals on social media. Yes, there is freedom of speech, but everybody should keep in mind why they have that right and why they still have it.

I do not understand why it is so hard to be respectful of one another. If someone goes after another person talking about how absolutely terrible it is of them thinking something should be illegal, the person who's being yelled at should respectfully ignore the other individual's disrespectful remarks. If the individual does not stop, then they are not aware that they are making no difference in the world.

What I'm trying to get at here is that in order to love each other, we really need to accept all our differences. If we really want change we need to go right to the sources, not just yell at each other from across the street. If everyone learned to accept each other, life would be a whole lot easier. Is this ever going to happen? Of course not. This is the solution though, whether you think so or not.

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