I missed you before you were gone...
In these last few days with you here, I find myself missing you before you are even gone. Reminiscing on memories while you live your last moments make me smile, but also remind me that they are just that… memories. I cringe when I think about our final goodbye, because it doesn’t feel real. It doesn’t feel real, but I know it is so close.
As my heart aches, it is also filled with joy. I look around and see everyone who loves you, gathering on your behalf. I miss you, but I see you in each of us. I see you in your children, in your children’s children. I see you in your friends and members of the community that hold you so dearly. I am reminded of you through the memories people have shared. Seeing you in so many, makes missing you easier.
The hard part about losing you, about losing anyone you love, is that it is always sudden. No matter how many months they've been sick, no matter how "prepared" you might be to lose them, we are never prepared for how different life will be without them here. Logically, we know that life ends, but our hearts want forever.
Tonight, as I type this before you are gone, I miss you. I realize that starting now, I will never stop missing you. I will miss you as I graduate, I will miss you at my wedding, and I will miss you when I have children of my own. I will miss your birthday wishes. I will miss our summers together and your beautiful smile.
I will miss you, but I will see you again.
I will miss you forever, because I missed you before you were gone.
"I'll love you forever, I'll miss you for always, as long as I'm living, my grandmother you'll be."



















