With these little, yellow, gibberish-talking jellybean animations, it's hard not to fall into their evil, world-dominating takeover. Everywhere you turn, there are Kevin, Bob and Stuart. I was never a big fan of "Despicable Me," but these little guys got me hooked. Though I tried to resist, I eventually jumped on the Minion bandwagon. Here are the stages that prove you aren't falling far behind me:
1. Denial Of Their Cuteness
At first you are like the rest of us: "What the f**k are they even saying?" "I'm not spending $10 bucks to see a kiddy movie!"
2. Anger Over Their Takeover
You go into Walmart and suddenly your blood boils that every product is trying to get a spark in revenue by sticking a Minion on it. I'd have to admit, though, the Minion Mac-N-Cheese is totally worth it.
3. Bargaining For BANANA!
They somehow manage to peel you back like an onion, one layer at a time. Suddenly, you are in a theater as a college student with a bunch of Justin Bieber teenie-boppers. Then, another layer peels back as you begin laughing or feeling their hurt when they lose another leader. You are now realizing the beginning of the obsession.
4. Depression When The Movie Is Over
You realize their cuteness left some kind of fuzzy feeling in your heart. A week later, you are on YouTube searching for all their cute short films. My favorite is when they are on the copy machine! You then become more depressed realizing you'd rather see "Minions" four times than suffer through the "Twilight" series.
5. Acceptance of the Minions
Their cuteness is now irresistible. You need to fill the void. The movie just isn't enough. You go back to the infested Walmart, and boost those companies' revenues by buying a Minion product. Now they'll always be with you. For me, it was a Christmas sweater! Best Christmas sweater EVER! You eventually want all the minions; it's practically inevitable.
