Have you ever wished you could peer into someone's mind and know what they're thinking? Maybe you met someone, and can't tell if they're interested in you. Or maybe, you think your best friend is hiding something from you. We've all been in this situation. "You Can Read Anyone" by David J. Lieberman is a book I recently read that teaches you how to use a highly psychologically based system to figure out what's going on in someone's mind. From this book, I have learned basic psychological techniques that can be applied to any person in almost any situation to know what they're thinking and how they're feeling. These techniques do more than "put the odds in your favor" during a given situation, they allow you to set up the game so you can't lose.
1. Is this person hiding something?
When you think someone is hiding something. You have three options: confront the person, ignore the situation, or try to gather more information. Confronting someone can get really awkward, especially if you're wrong. Ignoring the situation can be difficult when you really just want to know what's going on. One technique you can use is called the "mind reader." Through this technique you can bring up a sensitive subject and find out if someone is comfortable or concerned with the topic, all without making a single accusation. Here's an example:
A sales manager thinks one of his salespeople is stealing office supplies. Asking the person outright, "Have you been stealing office supplies from the company?" would immediatley make he or she defensive. Instead the manager should say something like, "Jill I'm wondering if you could help me with something. It's come to my attention that someone in the sales department has been taking home office supplies for personal use. Do you have any idea how we can put a stop to this?" Then the manager would observe her reaction. If she asks questions and seems interested in the topic you can reasonably infer she is not stealing supplies, but if she becomes very uneasy and tries to change the subject, it's likely she is guilty.
2. Are they actually interested in me?
Have you ever wondered if your date likes you, or if your co-worker is actually interested in helping you with a project? The ability to gauge a person's interest level is actually fairly easy. Eyes play a big factor in interest level. Pupil dilation says a lot about how much someone is interested. When a person is interested or aroused, the pupils dilate letting in more light, allowing him to "see clearly" and garner more information. When someone is very interested look for the eyes to be open wide, and perhaps for the mouth to be open. Like a child who is surprised with a new toy his eyes widen and his mouth open- to take it all in.
Snapshot: An art exhibitor shows many pieces to an appraiser and this is what he observes: the gaze of the appraiser lasts longer on one piece than on the others. Additionally, the security camera tapes show his eyes widen and noticeable pupil dilation. The appraiser, regardless of what he says, has a greater interest in this piece than he does the the others.
3. Whose side are they really on?
Sometimes people can appear to be cooperating when really they are sabotaging your efforts. If you ever wondered if someone is out to get you this technique is very simple and easy to use and can test someone's true efforts. The idea is to relay false information to the person. Throw them a misassumption - one he or she is sure to know isn't true, and take notice whether or not they correct you. Here's an example:
A co-worker says she will help you prepare for a meeting with a client. You aren't sure what their motivation is, so you put them to the test by baiting her with false information and wait to see if he or she corrects you. You would say something like "Nancy, the client is looking for a campaign that's serious, but has some humor. They really like what we did for them last year, so I think we should so something along those same lines." The truth is the clients have not been happy with the previous campaign and Nancy knows this. If she doesn't speak up, she's not for you; she wants to sabotage you.
Going to the cinema alone is good for your mental health, says science
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