Graduation. You’re walking down the aisle after your name is called, and you can’t believe how time has flown by. Your high school days are finally behind you. You take your diploma, wave to your family, and run as fast as you can out of your school, house, and most of your old friendships.
College gives you individuality and time away from the people who lived and learned a block away from you. This is nice, you decide, but now you’re faced with actual college life – not the glitz and glam from television. No, this is not a drill.
So, what’s it like to be inside the mind of someone teetering between adulthood and TimeHop photos? I’ve boiled it all down for you, here. Enjoy.
8:00AM
Yell at your phone and roommate and sleep for five more minutes.
8:05AM
Five more minutes.
9:03AM
Panic. You’re going to be late for class, so you skip breakfast, slip on a jacket, and run out the door. You smooth your hair with your hands and race up to your building. You see people walking near you, tossing back granola bars and shuffling just-printed papers that haven’t made it into unzipped backpacks yet. I’m glad I’m not the only one.
9:11AM
Make it to class only a little late, face flushed, and flop into a chair.
Did I sit in the 3rd or 4th row? Why can’t I ever remember?
9:15AM
Professor comes in late. Listen to the lecture halfheartedly. Think about how you never appreciate summer enough. Stare off into space at the back of a classmate’s head. Grimace at the chalk stains on the board that the professor isn’t erasing. Not much has changed since high school.
11:00AM
You’re hungry. You’re always hungry. Realize you forgot your campus ID. Go back to your room. Proceed to dining hall.
11:30AM
Arrive at dining hall. Peruse food selection. What kind of meat is that? Why don’t they have strawberries? I guess I’ll just have a bagel again.
You forgot to ask friends when they were going to lunch. Look at the sea of tables before you. Some have familiar faces. You doubt that others go to the school. Choose the closest table. I can’t talk while I’m eating, anyway.
Besides, cliques aren’t as prevalent as people say they are in movies: “You can’t sit with us!”
12:24PM
You’re still sitting in the dining hall. Have people noticed that I’ve gotten seconds, thirds, and fourths? Watch another YouTube video of dogs doing Pilates or a grown man discussing bowel movements in public bathrooms to get motivation for walking to your next class.
12:46PM
Enter class late. Again. Sit in a seat. Wonder if your life will ever be in order again. Probably not. Write down class assignments in planner. Underline them to make sure you don’t forget about them. Remember the time you missed a meeting, a shift at work, the last paper deadline – but who cares about the history of cheese. The past is the past, right?
2:30PM
Pretend you’re a singer/songwriter and scribble the next big hit on your science notes instead of studying. The Oxygen Cycle could be a great band name. Answer a call from a friend. They ask you to join a study party. Lie to yourself and say that study parties are actually productive. I can get more work done if I’m around other people who try to distract me.
5:00PM
More food. Your stomach knows the dining hall schedule.
7:08PM
You work in less than an hour. Plenty of time for a quick nap. Wake up feeling worse. This happens all of the time.
10:00PM
Walk home. Jump at every shadow. Is that a raccoon or a cat? Try to pet it. Find that it’s a raccoon. Run. Slow down. I’m out of shape. Vow to go to the gym next week. Spot someone walking in the other direction. Assume they’re staring at you. Walk faster. Good stalkers are never seen.
12:00AM
Check the clock. It’s so early. More food. Add something like “clean off the desk chair” to your to-do list just to cross it off. Feel accomplished.
3:02AM
I didn’t know I could feel my eyeballs. Keep scrolling down Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest. Read political articles. Cry for humanity. Watch dogs failing at being dogs. Smile. Only six more pages to write before tomorrow. I mean, today.
8:00AM
Yell at your phone and roommate and sleep for five more minutes.
Repeat.
