Dear Old People: Millennials Don't Exist

Dear Old People: Millennials Don't Exist

I refuse to be pigeonholed.
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Scrolling around on the internet during your day-to-day activities, you will probably come across the word "millennial" at least once. It's hard to avoid. And if you're like me, someone born in the late 90s who might identify as millennial or is categorized by others as a millennial, you're sick of hearing about how millennials are the worst generation ever.

In a talk at Deep Shift, comedian Adam Conover discusses the concept of millennials and why they as a generation don't exist in the way you think they do. Specifically, he talks about how companies' marketing strategies shouldn't be targeting millennials using memes and slang they think will make a connection to us.

Conover essentially breaks down generational thinking into this: It's condescending, created by older people to distinguish younger people, and doesn't do anything to foster good relations. Generations are not a real thing. We created them to separate different age groups and basically to keep doing something that has never been beneficial: pigeonhole people into reductive categories that don't actually define them at all.

"Oh yeah, those millennial kids are always on their phones and tweeting everything they do. They're obsessed with social media and are the most narcissistic people to ever exist." Please. There's a "generation" called "the greatest generation," consisting of people who grew up during the Great Depression. Talk about narcissism. But, as Conover explains, the names of generations are "invented by writers to get rich." It's as simple as that. The guys who coined the term "millennial" were Neil Howe and William Strauss, and they decided what made us different from those who came before us.

Those designated as millennials are not obsessed with social media or their phones, just as other "generations" are not obsessed with the amazing technology that they grew up with, like cars or TV.

I'm sure in the 80s you would have heard someone say, "Yeah those Gen X'ers are just obsessed with their digital cameras, how vain." Technological phenomena can be really exciting for those who were growing up when they came out. But for those who are older and don't understand what's going on, the new inventions can be scary and it might feel like the world is moving on without them. And that's fine. But to dismiss these new ideas and revolutionary platforms, like social media, as dumb fads for shallow youths leads to a breakdown in respect for people of different age groups. And it goes both ways - old people think young people are self-centered and technology-crazed, and young people think old people are stubborn and stuck in the past.

You've probably seen this TIME Magazine cover at some point in the past few years and if you're like me, you thought, "Hey, that's pretty offensive."

The tagline that comes after doesn't really alleviate the harsh burn of this writer, and essentially TIME Magazine, saying that millennials are vapid and lazy. And if you watch Conover's presentation, you'll see that the facts just don't support these claims. What we have here is a simple case of older people being afraid of technology and losing their place in this fast-paced world. I know social media and apps and tablets are very confusing and there's really too many out there to actually keep track of, but taking the time to learn about them might lead to a discovery that what younger people are inventing could possibly change lives in a positive way.

So, no. I'm not a millennial in the way that older people have defined it. I'm just another human on this earth trying to be productive and live a full, happy life. Don't call me "social media obsessed" because I like to stay connected to people like my sisters who I don't see often when I'm at school. Don't assume that I'm narcissistic because I take a lot of pictures with my friends and of what I'm doing; I want to remember the moments that are meaningful to me and look back at them someday. And especially don't say I'm lazy because I use my phone to look up information. I'd rather be sure about what I'm saying rather than make generalizations and assumptions like you have about people my age.

It's time to start thinking in terms of what makes us alike rather than what you may think separates us. Conover presents it best in his breakdown of the demographics across our so-called generations: "Here's what really exists: people, a whole lot of people who are alive at the same time."

Cover Image Credit: http://globalprtrends.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/iStock_000057454036Large.jpg

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35 Major Life Facts According To Nick Miller

"All booze is good booze, unless it's weak booze."
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Fact: If you watch "New Girl," you love Nick Miller.

You can't help it. He's an adorable, lovable mess of a man and you look forward to seeing him and his shenanigans each week. While living the infamous and incomparable life of Nick Miller, and obviously Julius Pepperwood— he has learned many valuable laws of the land. And, although Nick refuses to learn anything from anyone besides his mysterious, old Asian friend Tran, he does have a few lessons he'd like to teach us.

Here are 35 facts of life according to 'Nick Milla Nick Milla':

1. Drinking keeps you healthy.

"I'm not gonna get sick. No germ can live in a body that is 65% beer."

2. Dinosaurs never existed.

"I don't believe dinosaurs existed. I've seen the science. I don't believe it."


3. A paper bag is a bank.

"A bank is just a paper bag but with fancier walls."


4. Having sex is similar to delivering mail.

"I'm like a mailman, except instead of mail it's hot sex that I deliver."

5. Moonwalking is a foolproof way to get out of any awkward situation.

Jess (about Nick): "Now he won't even talk to me. I saw him this morning and he just panic moonwalked away from me. He does that sometimes."

6. Using a movie reference is also a great way.

Cece: "Come on, get up!"

Nick: "No, I don't dance. I'm from that town in "Footloose."

7. There's no reason to wash towels.

Nick: "I don’t wash the towel. The towel washes me. Who washes a towel?"

Schmidt: "You never wash your towel?"

Nick: "What am I gonna do? Wash the shower next? Wash a bar of soap?"

8. Exes are meant to be avoided at all costs (especially if/unless they're Caroline)

"I don't deal with exes, they're part of the past. You burn them swiftly and you give their ashes to Poseidon."

9. IKEA furniture is not as intimidating as it looks.

"I'm building you the dresser. I love this stuff. It's like high-stakes LEGOs."

10. You don't need forks if you have hands.

Jess: "That's gross. Get a fork, man."

Nick: "I got two perfectly good forks at the end of my arms!"

11. Sex has a very specific definition.


"It's not sex until you put the straw in the coconut."

12. Doors are frustrating.

"I will push if I want to push! Come on! I hate doors!"

13. All booze is good booze.

"Can I get an alcohol?"

14. ...unless it's weak booze.

"Schmidt, that is melon flavored liquor! That is 4-proof! That is safe to drink while you're pregnant!"

15. Writers are like pregnant women.

Jess: "You know what that sound is? It's the sound of an empty uterus."

Nick: "I can top that easily. I'm having a hard time with my zombie novel."

Jess: "Are you really comparing a zombie novel to my ability to create life?"

Nick: "I'm a writer, Jess. We create life."

16. All bets must be honored.

"There is something serious I have to tell you about the future. The name of my first-born child needs to be Reginald VelJohnson. I lost a bet to Schmidt."

17. Adele's voice is like a combination of Fergie and Jesus.

"Adele is amazing."

18. Beyoncé is extremely trustworthy.

"I'd trust Beyoncé with my life. We be all night."

19. Fish, on the other hand, are not.


“Absolutely not. You know I don’t trust fish! They breathe water. That's crazy!"

20. Bar mitzvahs are terrifying.

Schmidt: "It's a bar mitzvah!"

Nick: "I am NOT watching a kid get circumcised!"

21. ...so are blueberries.

Jess: "So far, Nick Miller's list of fears is sharks, tap water, real relationships..."

Nick: "And blueberries."

22. Take your time with difficult decisions. Don't be rash.


Jess: "You care about your burritos more than my children, Nick?"

Nick: "You're putting me in a tough spot!"

23. Getting into shape is not easy.

"I mean, I’m not doing squats or anything. I’m trying to eat less donuts."

24. We aren't meant to talk about our feelings.

"If we needed to talk about feelings, they would be called talkings."


25. We're all a little bit too hard on ourselves.

"The enemy is the inner me."

26. Freezing your underwear is a good way to cool off.


"Trust me, I'm wearing frozen underpants right now and I feel amazing. I'm gonna grab some old underpants and put a pair into the freezer for each of you."

27. Public nudity is normal.

"Everbody has been flashed countless times."

28. Alcohol is a cure-all.


"You treat an outside wound with rubbing alcohol. You treat an inside wound with drinking alcohol."

29. Horses are aliens.

"I believe horses are from outer-space."


30. Turtles should actually be called 'shell-beavers.'

Jess: "He calls turtles 'shell-beavers."

Nick: "Well, that's what they should be called."

31. Trench coats are hot.


"This coat has clean lines and pockets that don't quit, and it has room for your hips. And, when I wear it, I feel hot to trot!"


32. Sparkles are too.

"Now, my final bit of advice, and don't get sensitive on this, but you've got to change that top it's terrible and you've got to throw sparkles on. Sparkles are in. SPARKLES ARE IN."

33. Introspection can lead to a deeper knowing of oneself.

"I'm not convinced I know how to read. I've just memorized a lot of words."


34. It's important to live in the moment.

"I know this isn't gonna end well but the middle part is gonna be awesome."


35. Drinking makes you cooler.

Jess: "Drinking to be cool, Nick? That's not a real thing."

Nick: "That's the only thing in the world I know to be true."

Cover Image Credit: Hollywood Reporter

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This ‘The Bachelor’ Bracket Is Everything You Need For The Season 23 January Premiere

Download yours now!

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Colton Underwood's season of "The Bachelor" premieres on January 7, and we couldn't be more excited! And since Chris Harrison has yet to declare Colton's journey "the most dramatic ever," why not take the drama into your own hands and kick the fun of watching up a notch?

Grab your girls (and guys!) and start a competition of your own with our "The Bachelor" bracket. All you have to do is print it out and fill in your predictions before the season starts. Then, after you watch each week, add up your points according to our scoring guidelines.

If you're looking for some insider information about the 30 women competing for Colton as you fill in your bracket, we've got you covered:

Meet The 30 Women Competing For Colton Underwood's Heart On This Season Of 'The Bachelor'

Your Monday night viewing parties just got a lot more interesting!

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