4 Absolutely True Facts About Millennials And Avocados

4 Absolutely True Facts About Millennials And Avocados

"The measure of a man is what he does with avocados." -Plato
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It seems like every other day there is a new headline proclaiming that those darn millennials are at it again, with the avocados and the multiple low-paying jobs and the sense of dread at inheriting a world already spiraling towards disaster. But mostly the avocados.

We have to laugh, of course. When I’m hanging out with my coalition of attractive 18-to-24-year-old friends, we frequently ridicule the mainstream news and their misrepresentation of our generation. They seem to think we really like avocados.

My fellow millennials know: we do not merely like avocados. We are total in our devotion to avocados. Previous generations of humans were 70 percent water; millennials are 70 percent avocado. For the education of any old lame people trying to understand this generation, here are four more absolutely true facts about millennials and avocados.

1. We can say “avocado” in 15 languages

Millennials love travel. But one important safety precaution that we all take before gallivanting across Europe is to learn how to request an avocado in all the local languages, lest we are caught avocado-less one morning. Nothing compares to the horror of waking up expecting some delicious avocado toast, but because you cannot make your request understood to the waiter, instead you have to choke down two dry pieces of—ugh!regular toast.

To avoid that fate, millennials learn to request the greatest food in a multitude of languages. Frequent choices include Spanish (“el avocado”), Chinese (“汉堡包”), and Canadian ("ehvocado").

2. We studied avocados in college

An important component of any liberal arts degree (all millennials have liberal arts degrees) is, of course, Avocadology. And with many colleges now including interdisciplinary options, these days avocados are often studied alongside other, less important disciplines, like history and biology.

I don’t know how I could possibly have picked between my two favorite classes in college, Math 318: Avocado Surface Topology II and Theology 392: How Holy Is Guacamole?

3. We are frustrated by unequal distribution of avocados

Millennials, more so than previous generations, are acutely aware of the injustice that permeates our society. And the most egregious injustice of all is that 99 percent of the avocados are controlled by just 1 percent of the population. It’s as though the system is stacked in favor of that 1 percent.

Employers don’t seem to appreciate the many crucial avocado-related skills on my resume. It just feels as though it’s impossible to get ahead these days, with student debt and rising costs of living severely cutting into the avocado budget. Which leads to the next point:

4. We can’t buy houses because we have too many avocados

At the time of writing this, I still live with my parents. They are getting increasingly frustrated by the size and smell of my avocado collection, but what other choice do I have? Buying a house would cause a momentary reduction in my avocado intake, which is not a choice at all.

It’s also financially infeasible given my income and credit history but mostly it’s about keeping the avocados coming. I also don’t have health insurance, because health insurance premiums would cut into the avocado budget. Not that that actually matters, because avocados are so healthy that eating them constantly makes you immune to disease.

Now that you are educated about the complex symbiotic relationship of millennial to avocado, you may find yourself slightly incredulous. Allow me to reassure you that everything in this article is completely true, guaranteed. Be sure to incorporate these facts into your marketing strategies for the 18-to-24 year old demographic and you will see quarterly profits increase by at least two-thirds.

Cover Image Credit: Unsplash

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18 Times Kate Middleton Was Actually All Of Us In College, Beside The Princess Thing

Every girl has to go through her clueless college stage before she reaches Duchess status.
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Kate Middleton is basically a household name by now, and how could this not be the case when she has the gorgeous hair, kind smile, and incredible fashion sense. With her constantly in the spotlight looking so put together, we sometimes forget that the Duchess was actually all of us in college!

Here are 18 times that Kate proved she was just like all of us.

1. Going all out in the name of school spirit

There is nothing like breaking out the war paint and screaming for your home team. Like Kate, we all love to get a little messy and make some memories with our friends.

2. Hanging out with the roomies

Some people may not get lucky in this area but for those who are best friends with their roommates, they understand the love. It's a dream come true for everyone who has always wanted to live with their best friends. It's like a sleepover that never ends.

3. Dressing up cute on the first day of school...

You got to make a good first impression on your way to school. Whether it's during your 7 A.M or 4 P.M., it's always best to dress to impress.

4. ...and wearing yoga pants for the rest of the year

And this goes all the way until the last week of school when you don't bother getting out of bed to wear pants at all.

5. Going grocery shopping and throwing in cookies, ice-cream, and every type of Pringles because your mom isn't there to say no

You'll probably regret that in a few months when the Freshman Fifteen kicks in.

6. Walking for miles from your car to your dorm carrying groceries

We can't park by the apartment for a solid five minutes to carry our groceries up to the kitchen or we will risk a ticket, but we can walk a few miles carrying food that gets heavier, and heavier, and heavier with every step.

7. Going out for a night on the town on a Friday night

Dancing, laughter, and fun? Everyone in college has been to a party or two. It's a classic part of the college experience. Sometimes you just need a distraction from all the essays and tests.

8. Being so late to class you threw on whatever your hands grabbed next

We've all been there. Our alarm doesn't go off, we press snooze a few too many times, or forget to even set an alarm and next thing you know we are running around the dorm room like Taz from Looney Toons. You throw on whatever, then run to class.

Unfortunately 9/10 times our outfits don't turn out. Although, Kate can certainly pull off this look, no matter how mismatched.

9. Pretending your walking to the same building as the cute boy you met so you have the excuse to keep talking to him

I am very guilty of doing this. Although I missed my class, at least I got to talk to the really cute boy who has class at 9:45 in the STEM building. It was worth it.

10. Sitting on the floor or standing because you're a poor college student who can't afford chairs or tables

Eating on the floor? Always. Being a college kid is tough and sometimes you have to sacrifice some things to obtain the others. Such as choosing chocolate milk and Halo Top over vegetables and hair conditioner.

Judging by Kate's beautiful locks, she chose the conditioner.

Probably the vegetables too.

We should just all follow her example.

11. Going on cute date with the boy you followed to class-turned-boyfriend

Now my short-lived romance may not have extended farther than us talking and walking to his class, but Kate and William obviously had a better ending. Nevertheless, college is the place to grow and date and possibly find the one.

12. Keeping your hair long and growing because you can't afford to get it cut

Don't trust your roommate. No matter how many times she begs you to let her cut it. Don't.

13. Turning 21 and getting dressed up and going out with your best friends

While this one probably doesn't apply to Kate, since you can drink at age 18 in most countries, all my people in the United States know the sweet freedom of turning 21. It's an iconic time in a students life and marks a huge milestone as well.

14. Passing out flyers for some type of movement or protest

Everyone wants to be a part of something bigger - which is why college is the time to stand up for what you believe in. May that be RedforEd, Planned Parenthood, anti-Abortion, Trump, the Wall, pizza bagels, it's all an exercise of the first amendment.

15. Ranting to your friends about the professor that just "doesn't understand you"

You know your thinking about that professor right now as you read this. And you know that that's your reaction whenever they give you a bad grade or say something you disagree with at the tiniest degree.

16. Getting glammed-up for those senior photos

Pick out your best outfit and make sure it's a good hair day because everyone will be viewing these photos forever... and in Kate's place that is more than true. Luckily she looks as gorgeous as ever. Does she ever have a bad hair day?

17. Walking out of your last class knowing you'll never have to write a single paper again

And purposefully not thinking about how you will be going into the real world in less than a few days.

18. When you've graduated and realized you have no idea what you're going to do with your life

Maybe a prince will be right around the corner to sweep you off your feet so you won't have to figure your life out.
Cover Image Credit: Laura Warshauer

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20 Amazing Songs You Need For Your Travel Music Videos

Planning to make your new travel video? Use one of these songs as your perfect background music!

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Based on the mood you're currently feeling, here are 20 different songs categorized by when you should use them for a traveling music video:


1. For Those Classic Summer Feels

"Harvest Moon" by Poolside

"Gone" by JR JR

"Hold My Hand" by Jess Glynne

"Summer" by Calvin Harris

For all the lake adventures and mission trips, these are the perfect songs to put behind them to share your experience. Using these songs, your video can have a perfect summer vibe to it!

2. For A Good Winter Vacation

"The Days" by Avicii

"Something Just Like This" by The Chainsmokers

"Roses" by The Chainsmokers

"It Ain't Me" by Kygo ft. Selena Gomez

It's hard finding a perfect song for a cold winter day. These songs can work amazingly to any snowy adventurous video you've made for your winter break.

3. For Everyday Adventures

"Shut Up and Dance" by WALK THE MOON

"To Let Myself Go" by The Avener

"All That Matters" by Justin Bieber

"Youth" by Troye Sivan

We all have our daily vlogs filled with school and friends. These songs can put a touch of amusement and thrill to these videos!

4. For The Perfect Spring Break At The Beach

"Steal My Girl" by One Direction

"The Nights" by Avicii

"Runaways" by Galantis

"Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen

Every girl has the perfect week at the beach once a year! These songs can show off how incredible your experience with your friends was.

5. For Those City Nights

"Bullet Train" by Stephen Swartz

"Love You Like A Love Song" by Selena Gomez

"G.O.M.D." by J. Cole

"The Heart Wants What It Wants" by Selena Gomez

We all take visits to the city and never have the right songs to make a video with. These upbeat songs will make your city vlog into a perfect travel video!

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