Next time you're in church, look around at the amount of people there between the ages of 21-35. You won't see as many as you once would have. We all love Jesus, but millennials and church just aren't mixing well these days, and I have six simple reasons why.
1. "You can't sit with us"
When it comes to the O.G.'s of the church, YOU'RE NOT MESSING WITH THEIR CLIQUE! Church has become so segregated by age it's crazy. I'm sure there are millennials out there that can agree when I say the older people get bothered when the younger generations try to show them how things are done these days. The sense of family, community, and all-inclusiveness has left the building! And until that can change millennials will continue to leave the building too.
2. Turning their back instead of making a difference
Either churches don't value the community or they're legally blind. There is so much going on in these streets and not a lot is being done about it. Homelessness, troubled or abandoned youth, school systems failing, and so much more. Believe it or not, millennials are big on service and churches are not giving them enough opportunities to get out and do things to spread the love of Jesus. Churches won't even do anything for the neighborhood surrounding them. Matthew 5:16 says, "Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven." We are supposed to be the light, but the church apparently is throwing all the shade. I mean where is the "Lord's money" going? After the bills and employees are paid, where is the money to get out and give back? Where is the team of people and their hearts that are willing to come together and plan bi-weekly or monthly outreach projects? To this age group, it looks suspect, shady, sketchy, and they aren't buying it when the seeds are being planted but NOTHING is growing!
3. Not following through with your promises
This one is simple, if you say something then do it! Please stop talking about us unless you're going to do something about it. Despite the stereotypes about us, we are listening to phrases being spoken in our general direction. Lip service, however, doesn't cut it. We are scrutinizing every action that follows what you say (because we're sick of being ignored and listening to broken promises). Stop speaking in abstract sound bites and make a tangible plan for how to reach millennials. If you want the respect of our generation, under-promise and over-deliver.
4. Not adapting to change
Churches are failing to adapt, PERIOD! Here's the bottom line, church — you aren't reaching millennials. "The price of doing the same old thing is far higher than the price of change." —Bill Clinton. This generation isn't into playing church anymore. Face it, it's obvious you don't understand what's really going on with us or the crossroads we are standing at. We are TIED (not tired) but TIED of the complacency, the religion and too much tradition, ancient ways of doing things and the irrelevance of it all. This generation is full of young adults that are out the box and our ideas and outlooks are too! Continuing to do all the washed up things churches have been doing forever is not going to attract us. Admit that you're out of your element with this generation and talk to the millennials you already have before they ask themselves, what I am still doing here?
5. Making us feel judged for all of our decisions
NeNe Leakes: Stop blaming culture for everything wrong. The older generation acts like because we want to live our best lives, we are giving ourselves a one way ticket to hell. Everything from our music (which is not all bad), our hairstyles, tattoos, clothes...is what's wrong with the world. Although their may be some truth to this, it's not all on us. Put the end times rhetoric to rest and focus on real solutions and real impact in our immediate community. Explicitly teach us how our lives should differ from the culture. In the meantime, we will continue to do it for the culture.
6. We're not actually all in this together
There are a lot of people in this generation that despite differences (race, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, Democrat or Republican, conservative or liberal, etc), we know how to get along with others and ACCEPT them no matter what. Our friend circles are composed of different types of people and personalities. Church is not as safe as it should be. Love to holler about "come as you are," but I guess there is some fine print that we fail to read because when people do all the older people disapprove. Until people really get their underwear out a bunch about some of the un-traditional looking people in this generation you can "catch US outside, howboutdat." Also, please stop being afraid to talk about the hardcore topics that you make sure to avoid. People are dealing with serious issues that they need mentoring for (not preaching) we like mentor style teaching and then we can work into scripture and prayer. BUT JUST HEAR US OUT FIRST WITHOUT JUDGMENT.
I know there are some other points that can be thrown into the mix, but those were some of the top ones for me. If this post makes you feel as if millennials are selfish and whiney, then I'm sorry, but you are a part of the problem. We are the future of these churches and we love Jesus. But imagine not having any members under 40 because you didn't adjust when they were young adults.
It is possible to get us to consistently come to church or come back to church but you have to keep it real and acknowledge that there are pieces of the puzzle missing and, whether you like it or not, we are the pieces.
The ball is in your court, church. Until things change, millennials will continue to go through their everyday life deciding that lounging around in sweatpants, listening to podcasts, and watching YouTube sermons is much better than trying to fight what feels like the fight between David and Goliath... and the church is Goliath.
