Millennial Communication

Millennial Communication

Okay, Ok, K.
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I want to live in a world where I do not have to decipher between ok and okay. Or the ramifications of a period after a sentence. Where I’m not ruled by millennial texting regulations, or coding on social media. Where the thing that was created to simplify communication is not over complicated and drawn out. Where responding with one word means that’s the answer to the question you asked, and not every text message requires a response or a continuance.

I shouldn’t have to call two girlfriends, start a group chat and lose sleep over whether he meant a date or hanging out. Whether it’s too early to answer his text message… Should I throw an lol in there so it doesn’t sound so harsh? Should I say alright instead of sure so I don’t sound too passive? Is yes the same as yep or does yep define an attitude?

I don’t know about you, but I can see why there’s so many texting while driving campaigns.
We attempt to be safe by asking Siri to respond to our text with “okay”. So Siri types “ok” but then we have to apologize for the “ok” because even though I meant “okay” I didn’t mean “ok”, okay? Insert nervous lol. But there’s nothing funny about it, because the person on the other side of that text message is already typing up a passive aggressive message about your attitude because of “ok”.

But in a world full of women looking for some attention to subsequent the horrible barrage of fuck boys and lack of emotional in-person connection, we utilize whatever means we can to communicate with whatever sense of relationships we can make.
Which means you text… a lot.

He hasn’t answered in a hot minute… so obviously it’s over. It wasn’t meant to be, I suppose it’s for the best though. Anyone that uses hi instead of hey makes me uncomfortable anyway. Could you really not be bothered to add one letter?
Do I really care this much?

Well, we hung out. My friends told me not to hook up on the first date, but I didn’t know if it was a date. What if I ruined it because it wasn’t a date and it was just a hook up, but I thought it was a date… so we didn’t hook up? Now I don’t have a hook up tale for the girls or a great first date story for my mom.
This is awkward.

But the funny thing is, I don’t want to Netflix and chill. I want to talk about books, or food, or anything that lights a fire inside you. I don’t even care if you ask about my interests to be honest. I’m just checking to make sure you’re making at least 20% eye contact, that my shirt isn’t too low cut and that I’m giving off the right “I’m not trying to fuck you” vibes while also entertaining the idea that if you wanted to text me after this, there’s definitely a possibility for some flirty banter.
But you won’t because there’s a three day rule.

It’s been three days, and I haven’t heard from him.
I’ll post a selfie on Instagram to try and get a reaction out of him.
Oh, first like! Wait, does that mean he was creeping? Or accidental page refresh at the right time? Should I text him? What do I say?
Let’s go with heyy with two y’s so I don’t seem too eager but show a little playfulness. Or is hii with two i’s better? Do people even use hello anymore or is that specifically reserved for Adele?

But it doesn’t really matter anyway because it takes him five hours to read the text with no response…and the god damn read receipts are taunting me. Until eight hours later I’m greeted with a “hi”… with one i. So you know how this goes… since it took him eight hours to answer now I have to wait until tomorrow night to respond.
Can’t be too available…

But maybe he wasn’t ignoring me? He could have been sleeping or working late, right?
Nevertheless, I’ve spent the last eight hours shuffling through the files in my brain for everything I could have done wrong to cause him to potentially ignore me. Why read it and not answer? Read receipts are meant for the unsaid: “I saw this and can’t answer” text or more frequently… the “I want you to know I read this and am purposefully not answering due to something you did” text. But what’s the point of those receipts anyway but to completely destroy the confidence of a girl who decided it was okay to text him first instead of wait anxiously to hear back from someone who probably doesn’t save your contact name with emojis anyway.
Everybody knows you’re nobody until somebody saves your name with a heart.

I’ve decided on again, off again that we’re over but we can’t be over because we never technically began.
“It’s just casual, you know?”
“We’re just friends”
“It’s complicated”
Or everyone’s favorite…
“I’m not looking for anything serious right now”
But what’s casual? Like jeans and a nice top? Or a drink with a co-worker you’ve never really liked that much? Casual like what you wore to that job interview you didn’t get?

Because that’s what dating is: A series of intense job interviews, questionnaires, strategically picked outfits and specific scenarios that allow the boss to make a full, in-depth decision on your status here at the company.
I’m sorry, but we’ve decided to go with another candidate.
(You’re not easy enough)
Or sometimes, you just never get a call back.
(You’ve just been ghosted)


We as a generation have realistically changed the face of cellular devices and their use. We have forced companies to make phone plans that again include minutes instead of unlimited calls because they aren’t making money on that usage point anymore. We have taken the concept of text messaging from an aid to cell phone calls to the only isolated form of communication we use. We have used applications and settings (like do not disturb) to discourage communication out of spite and neglect of others, not it’s intended purpose (like for when kids are in class or you’re in a meeting… even though that’s probably where you’re reading this now).

We have over complicated something meant to sub in for phone calls when we couldn’t speak, we stopped calling our families and friends. We get to know new loves through “20 questions”, and then can’t fight the sexual banter 5 questions in. We take naked photos of ourselves and send it instead of enticing them in person. We sell ourselves short when they hate movies we love, and support causes we hate, because having someone text you good morning is almost better than sleeping in on a rainy day off.

We think twice before saying anything that crosses our minds. We stopped being honest. We decide not to answer instead of risk the fuck up, and then realize that is the fuck up.

I can’t text you first because that shows I’m too interested. I can’t call you because that’s weird. I can’t have dinner without tagging myself at its location on Facebook. I can’t figure out if you’re busy or ignoring me. I can’t believe how often we use lol. I can’t figure out if heyyy with three y’s is annoying or a typo. I can’t tell if you didn’t see my selfie or you’re choosing not to like it.

But more importantly, I can’t believe we give this much of a fuck.

Cover Image Credit: MediaVenue

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To The Sweet Girl With A Broken Heart

Words of wisdom for every girl...

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To the sweet girl with a broken heart,

Do you feel like you're stuck in this hole, six feet under, with absolutely no way to get out? You are not alone, and I promise you there is a ladder just waiting for you to climb it. I know your heart feels like it's been shot, and your gut feels like it's been punched one hundred times.

This feeling is just temporary, and I can tell you that because I've experienced it first hand. I know you feel alone, and like you're the only person who has ever felt this much heartache. I can promise you that you are never alone, and there are so many girls that can relate to you in ways you never thought possible. Don't let one guy dictate your way of life. Don't let one guy dull your sparkle.

Don't let one guy change your heart, or your remarkable personality. Sounds really silly when you read it back doesn't it? All of this hurt, tears, and confusion over one guy! Don't get me wrong, I know that this one guy was your world, you truly thought he was going to be in your life forever.

Up until this point, you didn't see a life without him in it. Girlfriend, look at yourself in the mirror. You are doing this whole breakup thing all on your own, and you're doing a great job at it. You picked up the pieces, and are carrying on all by yourself. You have been through the most extreme roller coaster of emotions, and you road it solo.

That says something, something really special. That says that you are stronger than you ever thought you were. Realize that! This is God's plan for you, to show you just how amazing you are. That you can conquer all things, and handle them in the most graceful way possible.

You are special. You are beautiful. You are unique. You are you! And that's one hell of a thing to be because you are the only you on this planet!

Lift your chin up, hold your head high, and show the world exactly who you are. Never change for anybody. Ever! Heck, get back to that girl you were before him. Strong, independent, confident, selfish. I know the word selfish seems so, well, selfish. But It's okay to be selfish sometimes, especially when it comes to defending your own heart.

Take that vacation, dress up just because, do your makeup and take selfies just because you want to, go to the gym, get that tan, go to that party, spend time with your greatest friends, hug your mom!

Do all of these things carelessly, do them because you deserve it, and because you can! And at first you may be doing them as a distraction from all that you've been through, but soon enough you'll find that you're doing them not because you need to, but because you want to!

Simply because this really is the new and improved you. Learn from this pain. Learn to love yourself again without him, without constantly feeling like you need to be reminded by him that you are loved. Instead, love yourself and I assure you when other people see that, they'll love you even more.

Girls, when we love someone, we love deeply, we love wholeheartedly, and that person never has to question our love for them. You deserve that same exact love in return. There are plenty of other guys out there just waiting to take care of your heart, and love you unconditionally. You deserve nothing but that!

Do not stop until you find that guy. You can change the world just by being a kind hearted human being. Don't get revenge, don't force yourself to move on as quickly as he did, don't torture yourself with remembering "the old him," and definitely don't change. I know it's hard to see him changing in the worst way, to the point where you don't even recognize him anymore. To the point where he feels like a complete stranger to you.

Do not stoop to his level. Trust me, one day, he will look back on his life and probably regret losing you. Of course, I know all you're wishing is that he'd be able to see that right now, but that just isn't God's plan. Be patient with yourself. Allow yourself the time to grieve, and hurt, and be upset.

Those are all good things.

That is what is going to allow you to heal, and move on to become a better, stronger, happier, and more mature you! I promise you, that a year from now all that you're stressing about will not mean a thing. This is our one and only chance at life, we can not let one person take away all the happiness that we deserve.

The right guy will never leave, even when times get tough he will always fight for you. I saw something on twitter that said, "take sex away and you'll come to realize that not many individuals have much to offer. This generation is so pressed for the physicality that ya'll forget mentality creates the bond and forms longevity."

That hit extremely close to home for me and is something that everyone needs to remember.

Fall in love with somebody's heart, mind, and soul. Go beyond their looks, go beyond the attraction, dig deeper. Don't be that shallow girl, who doesn't know how to love the right way. You are so much better than that. To every single broken hearted girl, I am so proud of you! I am always here for you, you have so much love and support. I've realized that myself. As I write this, I feel relief, no longer sad or dwelling on the past. What is coming is always better than what is gone. Now get that beautiful smile back on your face because you are too pretty to be sad.

P.S. To the "other girl" (if there is one).

How dare you take him away from me? You knew exactly what you were doing. You knew my whole heart was on the line. Women need to start respecting other women. Think before you act. Would you want to be in my position? I sure as hell hope not, and now that you have him I hope you're thinking about how you hurt me. And if you're not, then you have a lot to learn about life hunny.

It's kinda weird because I can't hate either of you. Simply because I want nothing but the best for him. It's crazy how someone can break your heart into a million pieces, but you still have such a special place in your shattered heart for them. Besides that, take good care of him. I hope he can learn from you, and love you in all the ways he couldn't love me or any of his other ex's. Every relationship is a lesson, and there is always something to learn. So thank you for teaching me mine.

P.S- To "the guy who did this" Imagine you have a daughter someday, and some boy breaks her heart the way you did mine. I hope you think back to this, and remember me. Maybe by that time, you'll feel sorry.

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41 Thank-Yous To My Boyfriend Who Stood By My Side For Three Semesters And Graduation

Life will be scary and difficult sometimes, but as long as you're there to hold my hand, I know that I will always be OK.

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These last several semesters at college, I've learned so much and I've changed so much, all because of one person. A person that came at a time when things were going downhill, and completely flipped my life around. I will never forget how terrible I felt before I met you, and how much better I am with you by my side. Truly, I don't know where I would be without you. And that's why it will always be impossible to thank you enough for everything that you have done for me.

But you do deserve to know how much of an impact you have on me.

1. Thank you for being my shoulder to cry on when I was struggling to get through this last semester.

2. Thank you for always listening to me rant about problems I was having with my friends.

3. Thank you for never getting tired of me talking about the same things over and over again.

4. Thank you for never acting like my past trauma was baggage or a burden.

5. Thank you for trying your best to understand and to be considerate of my anxiety.

6. Thank you for being patient with me when I take so long to process everything and sort out my emotions.

7. Thank you for dealing with my mood swings and intense emotions.

8. Thank you for never judging me over things I get embarrassed about.

9. Thank you for sharing your opinions with me, even when I didn't want to hear them, but I needed to hear them.

10. Thank you for opening my eyes to toxic behavior that I was blind to.

11. Thank you for always looking out for my health and well-being, and my future.

12. Thank you for helping me grow up and mature.

13. Thank you for always wanting to talk things out.

14. Thank you for making me feel important.

15. Thank you for giving me a reason to live.

16. Thank you for showing me what true love is.

17. Thank you for being my best friend and partner in life.

18. Thank you for breaking my walls down but never breaking a promise.

19. Thank you for keeping my heart safe.

20. Thank you for giving me endless reassurance.

21. Thank you for never making me worry about the fate of our relationship.

22. Thank you for always putting me first.

23. Thank you for being loyal and committed to me.

24. Thank you for all of the memories and adventures.

25. Thank you for never getting annoyed about taking photos.

26. Thank you for the best summer of my life.

27. Thank you for making college a much better experience for me.

28. Thank you for always putting a smile on my face.

29. Thank you for always catering to me and trying to make me happy.

30. Thank you for all the little favors you do for me and everything else you might think goes unnoticed (but trust me, I notice and I appreciate it so much).

31. Thank you for supporting everything that I'm passionate about.

32. Thank you for always making an effort to change.

33. Thank you for always forgiving me when I make (loads of) mistakes.

34. Thank you for being a good influence on me.

35. Thank you for being my role model and inspiring me to be more like you.

36. Thank you for the amount of time, effort, and love that you've put into our relationship.

37. Thank you for shaping my future.

38. Thank you for making me so hopeful and excited about everything that we are going to do throughout our life together.

39. Thank you for thinking that I'm worth it.

40. Thank you for wanting to get married, have kids, and spend your life with me.

41. Thank you for making my dreams come true.

Now that we've graduated, for the first time, we're dealing with the fact that we don't have a set path laid out for us. Real life is more than what we're used to. We might struggle to find jobs. Heck, we might find jobs but hate them. It might take forever to save up money. Things might not go according to how we planned them in our heads. We're going to have to juggle a bunch of different elements all at once. Life will be scary and difficult sometimes, but as long as you're there to hold my hand, I know that I will always be OK.

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