The latest young-people trend that has made headlines, shocking and aweing baby boomers and Gen-Xers alike, is, of course, the consumption of Tide Pods. It’s portrayed in the media as some sort of mass psychosis, in which underage people collectively snapped and began ritually ingesting detergent. The real origin of the detergent-ingesting is much less lurid. As far as I can tell, it evolved from a Tumblr post about so-called forbidden snacks — things that look like they should be food, but most definitely aren’t. In any case, the Tide Pods have captured the real-adult imagination. I’ve had relatives ask me why the youths are eating laundry products.
I always have the same response: “That’s Generation Z. That’s not us.”
I’ve heard tell that Generation Z feels vilified by this, and all I can say to that is “tough luck.” Baby boomers and Gen-Xers have already pinned the downfall of the government, the economy, the diamond industry, and big-box department stores on millennials. I’m not about to let us take the fall for the detergent-eating, too.
Gen Z, however, has been largely exempt from the rampant millennial-hate on the internet, and they’re confused by millennials taking to cyberspace to order them to quit putting Tide Pods in their mouths. Some of the Gen Z kids are just savvy enough to take the irritation millennials have always blasted at baby boomers and repurpose it to launch at millennials instead. I’ve seen this phrased a couple ways, but the most common one is this. “You always complain about how Baby Boomers treat you, and now you’re treating us the same way!” (Only add a lot more gifs and emojis to the end of that sentence.)
Um, no.
We, the millennials, have not systematically wrecked the political climate and the environment and then demanded to know why you all, Generation Z, feel so hopeless.
We, the millennials, haven’t led the country into two unwinnable wars in our lifetime, Gen Z, and then wondered loudly and at length why you, Generation Z, aren’t all rabid, foam-at-the-mouth, bleed-red-white-and-blue patriots.
We didn’t destroy student aid programs and then bemoan the trend of college graduates moving back in with their parents.
We didn’t run the economy into the ground and then complain that you aren’t buying enough things. All of the stuff baby boomers and Gen-Xers have done to us?
We didn’t do any of that sh*t to you.
Instead, we the millennials have humbly asked that you quit filming yourselves eating Tide Pods and putting it on the internet. We have asked that you stop taking our peaceful, harmless memes about things that look like food but aren’t and ruining them by taking them too literally. We have, with all faith and good will, asked that you stop being so goddamn weird that the baby boomers and Gen-Xers start trying to pin your weirdness on us.
I can’t believe this has to be said, but no, telling you not to eat detergent is not ageism and generational cluelessness. It’s just common sense.
