Deployments are real and terrifying; sometimes planned but other times unpredictable. You are away from the one you love for months on end and some days it feels like 24 hours is an eternity but you keep going because you promised you'd be there. Deployments are full of emotions and routine. You get up out of bed, put your clothes on, start your day, end your day and do it all over again until they come home. Deployments are full of anger.
At times, you feel angry because even though you know they'd rather be cuddling with you, they may have chosen to go and you can't help but take it personal, even though you know it's not. Then you feel guilty for being greedy of their love. Deployments are full of grief. There's the terrifying feeling of wondering if they're OK.
Then there's the illusion grief. The weird feeling of going through the motions of life without them. But then there's the reality check of a text or a phone call that makes your heart flutter, you’re flushed with emotions for those 10 to 30 minutes. But don't get greedy because it's brief; to put it frankly... deployments are a bitch.
So here are a few tips to get you through your first deployment as a military girlfriend.
Cherish the time you have left. Plan some dates, make some future plans with them and relish in the moments you’re making. I can't stress this tip enough; this last few months/weeks will be important to you.
Rely on your friends! This time period will be filled with a bundle of different emotions like anger, sadness, joy, and a plethora of others. Let them love you and take care of you! You can take this step a little further and have weekly or bi-weekly girls nights filled with drinks, make-up and some Netflix nights!
Take up a hobby. During my first deployment with my boyfriend, I took up reading for leisure and it was liberating. It doesn’t have to be something extravagant but something you love and can get lost in.
Don’t let yourself go. You don’t need your man present to want to feel sexy, beautiful, or gorgeous. Go get a new and fun outfit, do your hair and make-up and remember that this isn’t the end. Pick up your crown, Queen!
Take this time to be by yourself. I took a lot of time self-reflecting and improving things about myself. The improvements were a huge surprise at the end and I am so thankful to myself that I did that.
Lean on your family! Whether you lean on your family or his family; I got really close with my boyfriend’s mother and we leaned on each other during the harder holidays like Christmas, Thanksgiving, and I really needed her when it came time for our anniversary.
Take a road trip! Set out a course, take the time to update your playlist and grab the girls and go. A much needed, 2-hour car ride with off-key solos of 90’s music can do the heart some good.
Self-care is really important but also remember that this is hard on him/her as well.
Hand-write letters! When we got news that he was deploying I got to work and I wrote 20 “Open When…” My boyfriend found these to be super helpful when we couldn’t always communicate and things were difficult, or even happy moments.
Send care packages, but personalize them! There are a ton of ideas on Pinterest about military care packages. Remember to send them packages that are personalized to them like their birthdays, anniversaries, “just because” and of course the major holidays.
Send photos of home! Even the insignificant events like soccer games, and Christmas plays or just a few favorite photos of the two of you. The photos will make them feel like they are a part of the event even if they may be 6,000+ miles away. Sometimes, home is a person… Not a place.
