Types of Tinder Boys In The Midwest
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Oh, Another 'Fisherman' And 11 Other Guys That Define Midwest Tinder

Small town problems.

Oh, Another 'Fisherman' And 11 Other Guys That Define Midwest Tinder

It's obvious that no two boys are the same, even if their Tinder profiles are identical.

Here's a worthy list of the different types of guys you probably see on Tinder, especially if you live in the midwest.

1. The Fisherman

In this small Minnesotan town, fishing is something that everyone has been doing since they could walk. Everyone fishes, everyone's dad fishes, and everyone has caught a walleye up here.

The "Fisherman" profile on tinder shows a guy who's either shirtless or wearing a flannel, holding a comparably small walleye to prove that he's a fisherman like his daddy was. This guy represents the guy that Maddie and Taye sing about in their hit song, "Shut Up and Fish."

Although this guy is probably a sweetheart, he doesn't top anyone's standards because us girls know we can outfish him.

2. The Farmer

Again, small midwestern town problems. If you don't have a lake cabin, then your family probably owns a farm. The "Farmer Boy" tinder profile displays pictures of a crappy chevy truck, dead corn fields that they "harvested," and probably a picture of him in a flannel and/or Levis jeans with a dog.

This guy is usually a little chubby with a hot dad bod going on, has a barbed wire tattoo on his bicep, and claims he listens to George Strait. Yet, when you message the guy with George Strait lyrics, he has no idea what you're saying.

He's probably a virgin — which means he's probably super sweet and will call you beautiful. But, he doesn't quite meet the standards daddy set.

3. The Bad A$$

This guy is your local drug dealer. He has pictures of himself smoking 70 blunts at once. He's wearing a snapback, drug rug, and ripped or printed skinny jeans. He probably has greasy hair, no job, and lives in his grandma's basement. Poor grandma has no idea what's happening. He has tattoos that were done in his cousin's house and hickies that he claims are bruises.

This is the guy that we need to avoid. Unless you want to get involved in drugs and alcohol — then, by all means, swipe right, babe.

4. The Frat Boy

My personal favorite. These boys stand out like a sore thumb. Their pictures include them posing in front of their frat house wearing pastel shorts, visors backward, and pineapple printed shirts. They have super clean and styled hair, straight teeth, and a lab. Their bio probably says something about "looking for my future trophy wife." Or "Looking for my future ex-wife."

These guys are ~very~ hard to read. Are they a douche? Are they different from every other frat boy? Who knows, swipe right to find out. But, when he turns out to be a douche, don't damage his fragile masculinity by calling him out. Because if he's hurt by you, he'll probably have to either talk smack about you or he'll use YOU in his tinder bio to swoop another good noodle like you.

This is the boy who will booty call you, leave you on read, and not invite you anywhere in public.

5. The Playa

This guy doesn't have a single picture of himself alone. Every picture includes multiple women in bikinis or skimpy clothes. Probably on a boat, beach, or at a party. His bio includes only his snapchat and a weird emoji.

This guy is tricky. He can easily be mistaken for the frat boy. But, what sets the two apart, is that this boy will message you first and add a creepy kissy face emoji. Because he kisses on the first date. This is the guy who constantly texts you "wyd?" with the smirking emoji. He also probably sends "teasing" snapchat photos in the hopes that you'll cave and hook up with him.

6. The Athlete

He's posing with a football from his high school glory days. Probably has massive biceps, if not, then he's a retired athlete. His bio talks about how football is his life and how he met Brett Farve once when he was five. He's also probably got maybe one updated picture of him and that's of him in a bro tank posing with a container of protein powder.

This is the guy who thinks gym dates are a thing, only posts progress photos on Instagram, and calls his mom every day (which isn't a bad thing).

7. The Business "Man"

Or at least he likes to fool us into thinking he's a business man. He's wearing a suit, has a Rolex — or a fake one, and has nice hair. His smile is charming and he looks like he belongs on a billboard. Which, in the next few years, he probably will be on one. His bio probably shows which college he attends, "aspiring entrepreneur," or "future president." Okay, dude. Okay.

This guy tries to talk smoothly in front of you all the time and wants to come off as clean and professional. When in reality, he hasn't done laundry in weeks, hasn't made his bed since 1912, and swears like a sailor. (Trust me on this one.)

8. The Family "Man"

This guy has pictures with every child he sees. They come off as cute photos and present him as being a well-rounded family man. This guy usually will directly say that he's either kid-friendly or that moms love him in his bio. He seems laid back, sweet, and like the kind of guy your mom would L O V E. There's only one way to find out, am I right?

9. The Hipster

He's wearing a beanie, has a quiff, loves organic living and essential oils. His name is probably Steven and he loves Vance Joy — who doesn't? Probably has facial hair, slightly dirty hair, and a pet of some sort. He loves dark roast coffee and watching sunrises. Overall, the hipster so far is our best option.

10. The Former Military Man

He has a billion photos of him in his uniform, holding a flag, and posing with his mom. He's recently back from deployment and looking for some fun. His name is probably Kyle and I bet he has a tattoo or twelve.

11. The Adventure Seeker

His profile consists of patagonia sweaters, sunsets, candids, and ray bans. He's looking for a travel partner and someone who likes craft beer. He's quite handy and has facial hair because he never has the time to shave — since he's so busy traveling. He has a dog which he travels with and owns a fancy camera. His pictures consist of him standing on the Grand Canyon or something similar.

Overall, he's an 8/10 guy.

12. The Life of the Party

Every picture is of him drinking a bud light or playing beer darts. He is the guy who gets people to come to the parties. His name could very well be Ben, Chad, or Zach. He has an American flag on his bedroom wall and has clothes everywhere. He's super welcoming and always lets everyone into the party. He'll always have party deets on his snapchat story.

Note that this article is written based on stereotypes as well as the ~real~ guys we encounter on Tinder. This is biased and not all that accurate. However, for the most part, is accurate. Especially when it comes to the types of boys that pop up on my Tinder.

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