It's midterms season. People are crammed inside libraries, weighed down by books, and dehydrated from crying. In my not-so-humble opinion, midterms are worse than finals. At least with finals you're done at the end, but with midterms there's only more studying. So instead of studying for my two exams, one paper, and two quizzes, I thought I'd make a list of things I'd rather do.
1. Go to the dentist.
Hmm...teeth scraping or paper writing? I'll take the lecture about flossing. Heck, I'll start flossing morning and night if it means I can avoid midterms.
2. Be adopted into the Trump family.
I don't care what your political opinions are (I mean, I do, but not for the point I'm making), we all know they're weird robots posing as humans.
3. Eat broccoli forever.
Broccoli is gross. That is all.
4. Get a flip phone.
I am a social media addict, and I embrace it. But I'd rather give up all social media and live in a world with no Twitter feed than deal with midterms.
5. Give up weekends.
Those two holy days at the end of each week, filled with lounging and snacking and laziness. Oh, how I love them. But I'd give them up in a hot second to avoid midterms.
6. Bite into an oatmeal raisin cookie, thinking it's chocolate chip.
Oh, the HORROR.
7. Have a permanent crick in my neck.
Not exactly painful, but just enough to be annoying. Honestly the worst kind of frustration.
8. Have gum stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
That awkward squelch every time you take a step....the irritation of having to work harder to pull one foot from the ground....I shudder to think about it. STILL better than midterms.
Wait....wait nevermind, GO TO HELL, DOOK!
There's many things I'd rather do than struggle through the next two weeks until Spring Break. But supporting Dook? Never.