We need to stay alive. Not just for today. But for tomorrow too.

2016, for me personally, in a word... sucked. It held the most difficult moments inside of it. It held relapse and pain and suicide. It held retreat and regret. Heavy and light. These moments, stuck inside this year, are a hollow abyss of a darkness that I don't want to go back to.

However it also taught me about strength, and perseverance, and tenacity. A few blogs back I wrote about the growth this year has presented, but this year has also brought hope.

The organization To Write Love On Her Arms wrote these words 10 years ago

"Something happens at midnight on new years. Or something is supposed to, right?

I think the big idea is change. The thing we want to believe is that things can change, things can be new, that at midnight it might be possible to leave some things behind. Start over. Hope. New. I know it isn’t simple, that we live with broken stuff that doesn’t just vanish with the stroke of a clock. I know we need more than a moment. But I like that the world celebrates this moment. I believe that right now, millions of people are also anticipating a celebration of hope. Some don’t even realize it but they are smiling at the possibility that 20[1]7 can be the best year of their life."

You are loved. You are not alone. 2017 can be the best year of your life.The world is broken and scary but it’s also huge and beautiful and all of that means endless possibilities, endless opportunities. You were made with a purpose. You are a part of a bigger story of hope and change and you have a part to play.

A long December and there’s reason to believe,
maybe this year will be better than the last. — “Long December,” Counting Crows:

Say it’s true, it’s true… And we can break through.
Though torn in two, we can be one.
I, I will begin again. I, I will begin again. — “New Year’s Day” by U2

Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,
Still be my Vision, O Ruler of all. — "Be Thou My Vision," Micheal Card

2016 has made me believe that hope and help are real, that love is the movement, that better days are ahead. And I believe that you are enough.

If you are reading this and are feeling hopeless, please know there is hope for you.

There is nothing wrong with you. There is nothing wrong with who you are, where you come from, what religion you do or don’t believe in, what you look like, or who you love.

You matter.

Your life matters.

We need you here, and the world needs you here.

You can make it to the other side of this, to a place where you believe in hope even as you acknowledge your fear. That suffering you mentioned? It feels endless, but it is not.

It is not. Your pain will not go unnoticed.

So please, for me, just take a breath. Enjoy the power of this moment.

You deserve to keep breathing.

Stop setting such unreasonable expectations for yourself. You keep setting yourself up to fail because perfection is unattainable. There will always be someone who is prettier, skinnier, or funnier. Stop starving yourself of sustenance. The number on the scale is unreliable. Beauty is measured in heart, not pounds. And, my god, your heart is beautiful. Let go of the belief that they’d be better off without you.

And breathe.

Resolve for this year to be the year you learn to appreciate the moment.

The year that you take five minutes a day and write down something to be grateful for.

The year that you commit to practicing self-care at least once a week.

The year that you begin to tell someone your struggling and invite them in.

The year that you burn that bridge with suicide, forever.

Take a breath.

Please. I’m begging you.

Don’t forget to breathe.