I stood in my driveway looking up. The white twinkles in the sky were unobstructed by clouds. The moon was hidden by what clouds were out there. I just stared into the endless black above me, the breeze rippled through the trees. My hands hung by my side, my body just stopped moving, captivated by the dark sky. I smiled for no reason. This joy came out of nowhere from simply gazing. It's crazy to hear that something so stupid can bring joy but it did.
One thought echoed through my head. "I will fight on no matter what." My life matters to me. I don't care if it matters to anyone else. I'm confident in myself to overcome any obstacle in my way. I may fail but I won't stop. It's been ingrained in me to keep pushing forward even when I'm tired. I'm in my element when its time to get down and fight for every inch. I shut down and focus on what's needed. Blocking out distractions so nothing can interrupt me. Like a warrior gearing up for battle, preparing his mind for the savage fight ahead of him. Stoking the fire within so fear cannot control him.
I thrive on the edge. That's where I feel alive, where I'm one step, one mistake away from falling. That's where I find my excitement, where I stare fear in the eye and make it blink because I'm better than it. Fear is just a liar. It can knock all it wants but it won't be let in. Fear will never be allowed into my kingdom anymore.
What I got ahead of me is all that matters, I will find a way. I push until the day I die. I'm a fighter, that's what I am. That fighter is what's kept me alive so I hold onto that, molded myself into that. Every time I get knocked down that's what I'm gonna use to get back up. I will fight to survive, to live. When it comes my time to die I will still fight. I fight for my life, because I'm the only one that can. When it comes down to it I'm the only one that can save myself. It's up to me and it always will be and my choice will always be to live wide open with no regrets.