We tend to hear how we should aspire to live by certain values, how we should be apart of a certain crowd, how we should live a certain way, how we should be a certain person as we get older. At such a young age, it is instilled in us that we need to live, think, and act a specific way, simply because it is expected of us. So many people believe that their lives revolve around what others tell them, what others think of them. There are so many aspects of our lives that are thought to be set in stone. But, as we go through life and gain experience, we should hope to learn that this just is not the case.
Words of encouragement
It is completely OK to not be sure of things. In fact, the most normal thing you could be is unsure and confused. Just know that you're not the only one. We all struggle to figure out what our purpose in life is, what it is exactly we want and are meant to do. But, don't worry. Everything will work out in the end.
The reality of things
Absolutely nothing is going to happen unless we make sure it does... our actions are what define us and our characters, not what others have to say. This realization, the fact that we should create our own paths and futures, can come to you at any point in your life, whether that be out of the blue or during a mid-life crisis you're having at 18. It can occur more than once and in the smallest of ways, depending on how your life is going. I would know.
Growing up, there were values and tendencies that were taught to me, and others that I put upon myself to live by. I was the shy girl at school, who stuck with the same friends throughout the year. I gravitated towards those who were similar to me and familiar, never truly branching out to others or trying new things unless I was forced to. For the longest time, I figured that I was going to follow in my parents' footsteps and become a nurse. For the longest time, the only thing that I focused on was school. I spent a majority of my time studying, aiming for As and being disappointed whenever I got anything less because that is what my parents taught me.
This all changed once I entered high school. During my freshman year, I came to the conclusion that I could do whatever I wanted (within reason) and actually have fun. Granted, this realization was not as extreme as you would think. Instead, my focus shifted the tiniest bit, allowing me to spend just a little bit more time with friends and a little less time studying. But, nothing really changed.
Throughout high school, these tiny changes continued to manifest but simultaneously things stayed the same. Nothing really mattered except school, especially my junior and senior year when college become a major priority. At this point in time, the biggest a-ha moment of my life was finally realizing what I wanted to do with my future. So the rest of my high school years went by and so did the summer before I would officially become a Scarlet Knight.
On August 30th, the minute my parents left after helping me move into my dorm, was the minute my life changed forever. On this fateful day, I realized I did not want to be the same person I was in high school and all those years before. I realized that this is going to be the time I turn my life around. This idea was only pushed further when my best friend was able to predict and practically tell my entire life story even though we had only known each other for a few months. I came to the conclusion that I did not want to be so predictable and shy, that I wanted to seem more interesting to my peers.
So, I changed for the better. I became more outgoing and willing to talk to others. I became more confident in all the ways that mattered. Even my intended major and path for life has changed a bit. And even the clubs and extracurriculars I'm choosing to get involved in are new. Of course, there are still some values and ideals that are going to stick with me, but at the same time, I know that I was never going to be that certain person I thought I would be growing up regardless of what was expected of me.
The takeaway
Everything will fall into place eventually.
I guess by sharing my story, I want everyone to realize that they don't need to have everything together, or at least at this very moment. Your childhood, high school years, and especially college life are the time for you to make mistakes. This is the time for you to realize that you have the ability to pursue as much or as little as you want. We are being presented with countless opportunities and options every day, and especially here at Rutgers, that at times it can definitely be overwhelming. But, that should never stop you from trying new things. You should never be afraid of taking a new course just for fun or to see if you are interested in something different, joining a club that fuels your passion, introducing yourself to new people and friends, the list honestly could go on forever. You have all the time in the world to figure out your plans.
