Michael Scott is the all-hailing king of avoiding boring, monotonous work. You are the all-hailing king of attempting to avoid the soul-sucking week of endless tests, studying and caffeine that is Final’s week.
1. Complete Ignorance
It’s two weeks before finals begin, and you feel like you have all the time in the world to frolic over to your local bar and sing your heart out to the best of the 90s on Wednesday nights. Letting that nostalgic high on life feeling of jamming out to “Stacy’s Mom” cover up the fact that you know you have 5 exams, 2 papers and an entire village to build in about 5-10 days.
2. The First Petty Attempt
You really give it your all and read the cover of your textbooks; anything to make you feel less like the lazy-procrastinating-JustGonnaWatchOneMoreVideoOfAPuppySneezing-bum that you are. You preoccupy yourself by sharing anti-Trump posts on Facebook and convince yourself that you'll get it all done next week.
3. Bitter Realization
About 3 days before that last weekend of the semester you fucKING PANIC BECAUSE YOU LITERALLY HAVE NOT DONE ANYTHING YET, WTF.
4. Desperate Cramming
You finally decide to go open up a book, yet, alas, you realize much of your peers hit panic mode before you did. They’ve been studying in the time you were hitting level 385 on Candy Crush, and now there is not a friggin’ place to sit in the entire library.
5. The Climax of “Done with This”
You finally finish all your study guides, essays, and teaching yourself everything you should really only be reviewing at this point and your brain as most likely been:
a) turned to jello
b) poisoned by a very unhealthy caffeine intake
c) shriveled up into the size of a peanut
or d) all of the above
At this point, you really question your decision to attend college in the first place and seriously contemplate just calling it quits and going home to pet your dogs.
6. The Gleaming Hope of Summer
But you're kept going by the thought that in ~10 short days, this stress sent by Satan will be gone and you'll be basking in the loving warmth of the holiday sun.
7. The Point of No Return
Met by your professors' false reassurance of hope and an unconvincing “you’ll be fine!”, its the moment that will decide if your hard work paid off, or if you need to think of a way to tell your mom you'll be living in the basement the rest of your adult life.
8. Unmistakable Bliss
This is the worst two weeks of any college students life, but when you hear the professor of your last exam tell you to “Have a great Summer!”, you feel like you’ve been reborn. Deep down, you knew you were gonna kill it the whole time anyway. Time to hit the beach!!
