It feels like years ago, but in May I wrote an article about 5 things I couldn't wait to say as a Mexican mother who survived quarantine. Quarantine season is long over (even though for some people it never properly began), but the COVID-19 pandemic still rages on. As always, I have been trying to find a bright side to all of this, and so far what I've discovered is that I'm totally going to beat my parents in the "when I was a kid..." department.
So here are five more things I can't wait to tell my daughters (because I will have several) when they forget how cool their mom is.
1. "Bored ni que nada! Yo estuve en cuarentena por seis meses, tu no estas bored!"
"Bored? You're not bored! I was in quarantine for six months, you are not bored!"
If you're not guilting you children by using your own experiences, are you even doing it right?
2. "Salte de tu cuarto, mija, tienes un mundo sin coronavirus aya afuera, vete!"
"Get out of your room, child, you have a world without coronavirus out there, go!"
This will only be funny if I tell her to go out but then hit her with Number 3.
3. "Oye, y tu adonde vas, mijita? Sin mitad de la camisa y sin mascara, estas loca!"
"Hey, and where do you think you're going, child? Missing half your shirt and no mask, you're crazy!"
This hits too close to home, because it sounds like something my mother has said to me already.
4. "Sabes que? Seis meses en cuarentena me quito todo el acné...tal ves eso es lo que tu necesitas."
"You know what? 6 months in quarantine got rid of all my acne...maybe that's what you need."
You're not a true Mexican mom if you don't point out some flaws every once in a while, while also giving very accurate advice on how to fix it.
5. "Pues la vida no es facil, mija. Pero si yo sobrevivi el coronavirus, tu puedes sobrevivir esto."
"Well, life isn't easy, mija. But if I survived the coronavirus, you can survive this."
Mexican moms will always support you...while subtly reminding you that they are unstoppable.
I am very excited to use these phrases, so please, everyone wear your mask, because these will not be as funny if my children are also living in a pandemic.