I'm standing on the platform after booking it from my internship at Court House and just missed my train. It's OK, I'll just wait for the next one. Wait, what? The Silver Line is closed for the next hour? Great, now I have to take the orange line to East Falls and try to switch. So after about 15 minutes, the train comes, but it's packed like a can of whoop ass and the moment those doors open, it will be chaos. Either way, I'm going to have to catch a bus or an Uber or a prayer. I check my watch and count backwards to see how much time I have before the last bus runs or they start shutting this line down. All I want is to get home.
In the last year or so, the metro has been particularly dangerous. There are Twitters and websites all dedicated to tracking whether or not the metro is on fire. They make fun of the possibility of a fire, but one in L'Enfant Plaza last January killed someone and injured 86 other passengers. Another fire at McPherson Square caused such concern that the Metro Association decided to make drastic measures and start shutting the lines down.
Does this sound familiar? Then you might be a victim of the Washington DC Metro System. The following are some signs that you too understand how ridiculous this system is. You are not alone, my friend.
1. You follow the "Unsuck DC Metro" and "Is Metro On Fire" Twitter accounts because despite the sarcasm, they actually have good information.
I recently had a conversation with my non-DMV-native boyfriend about the issues with the metro and he pointed out how blasé I've been about it. It's true; I'm pretty nonchalant about the possibility of a fire breaking out under my train and trapping me in those cursed tunnels. However, I blame these Twitter accounts and the daily jokes around the office about the metro for my attitude. After all, when there's not much you can do and you have to take this system every day, being constantly afraid of the "what ifs" can just get counter productive.
2. You've had to reroute your daily routine at least twice in the last week because there was a malfunction on one of the lines you take to work/home.
Recall if you will the introduction for this article: that scenario has happened at least twice to me in the last week, and I've only been back home for a week and a half. Help.
3. You've been late to work because of the metro, yet no one seems to care when you get there because half the office was late too.
We don't care in the slightest. Even our CEO was late. We're all in this late life together. Just grab a coffee and act like you didn't just witness three hundred people cram themselves into a small train originally meant for around 120 maximum.
4. You've joked about the metro being on fire but secretly you're terrified every time you step into a train.
But what's the use? You need to use those trains because they are your lifeline and getting to work/lunch/bar/literally anything. (And if you by chance do have a car, you know the plights of traffic and don't dare think about driving.)
5. You hear about more efficient transportation systems in Europe and East Asia, and you writhe with jealousy.
Why do they get all the glory? Their systems are older than ours and yet here we are, watching an electrical fire break out like our system is having a mid-life crisis. If only I could be in Japan again where the subway rarely ever broke down and was on time to every station, down to the right second. Sigh. Perfection.
