Dear Future Kids,
Once upon a time, your mom was a teenager like you (yeah, big shocker), and I was just about as lost as you are or will be. There are so many things to consider when you’re a young adult and the biggest one that everyone will push onto you is, “What are you going to do with your life?” and you won’t always have an answer for that.
Sometimes, you will. Maybe when you were young, your future father and I might’ve brought you to the beach and maybe now you want to be a lifeguard. Maybe you saw a plane and now you want to build them. Maybe you went to the Getty and you want to be a curator.
You will want to do all sorts of things in your life, but there is a difference between a want and a need.
A want is something that “seems cool” to you; a hobby. A need is something you can’t live without. When you find something that your little heart just can’t let go of, that is a need. And maybe, just maybe, it’ll be a love.
You will fall in love with so many different futures and each one will represent a small part of your heart. No matter what you want to do, kids, if your heart cannot let it go, don’t try to let it go. You need it.
But sometimes you won’t know what to do. You follow the path set up for you—high school, then college, then work—and sometimes you’ll have absolutely no idea what to do when you get to each destination.
You’ll do things out of obligation and not of love because you don’t know what you love yet. I will tell you now, it’s okay.
It’s okay to be a little lost. It’s okay to feel like the path that’s been set up for you isn’t the path that your little heart wants to take. If that happens, don’t be afraid to say so. I know for a fact that you will have some know-it-all friends (or maybe even siblings) that appear to have their whole lives together with their dream college and dream career and dream life all lined up for themselves. Kudos to those people, but don’t compare yourself to them.
Life isn’t a competition.
Each and every person on this planet lives life differently from one another and it’s completely unfair to compare yourself to someone who’s completely different than you.
You trying your best is going to be different from them trying their best, and like I said earlier: It. Is. Okay.
If you have trouble finding yourself, go and try to find yourself. Go traveling, fall in love with the guy at the bus stop, go take bike rides down by the beach, learn how to code, build things out of Legos, learn how to draw, volunteer at an animal shelter or a homeless shelter, join the circus. Actively look for something to stand by, something to love.
Don’t be afraid to make mistakes because you’ll learn from them, and don’t be afraid to ask for advice because it’ll keep you from irreparably hurting yourself and others.
And finally, look at the stars. Your life is going to be a series of ups and downs, and you’ll end up flat on your back more often than not.
But whether you’re on your back or on your feet, you can still look up at the sky. Way back when, someone looked at the night sky, saw a handful of stars, said, “That looks a lot like a pot,” and created a constellation.
Your dreams are like the stars splattered across the sky. People may have similar experiences or goals as you, but the way that you connect your experiences and goals will remain completely unique. Your constellation will guide you down your own path through life, and if life beats the living crap out of you on the side of a dark road, at least you’ll have your own stars, your own constellations, to bring you back home.
With all the love in the world,
Your Weirdo Mom
P.S.: You guys are a star in my constellation.
