Times are rough for a lot of people and some have to do things they might not do normally, like stealing underwear. I know people wanna look fresh and I don't have any animosity for whomever has taken my clothes, because I've got humor to express my feels! So if you've ever been victimized or wonder what it feels like, here are some thoughts I had when I learned what happened.
Bruh.
They couldn't just wash their own clothes, but they had to steal my underwear?
Who steals underwear?
They could've stolen my jeans, sweatpants, pink hoodie, or fuzzy socks. That I get. But they wanted my underwear? That's oddly specific, bruh.
I know we're not the same size!
My family's on the hefty side, so I know this was their reaction when going through my clothes. If you're gonna steal, which you shouldn't anyway, at least make sure the clothes are put to good use by someone. It's not fun to be a size small with XXXL underwear.
You think you're funny, huh?
You tryna be a funny guy? Don't make me break your Kevin Hart, boy.
They stole my favs.
Those undies had the right texture, feel, and softness. Those were made for me. My life's ruined now. People search their lives for quality like that and you stole it from me. You sick sadist.
How am I gonna dress now?
I'm the type of dude to pair underwear with outfits for max comfort. At this point, I'm better off wearing a one-piece or my PJs. I want to dress fly -- I have class at business school, office hours to visit, and girls to hit on. I can't do these things by wearing this:
I can't jam out in my room anymore.
No more modeling in my Calvins.
I've been working my ass off in the gym man, cut me a break. I'm goin' for that JB bod and you're trying to throw me off by takin' my Calvins.
