At the beginning of the semester, I had a brief mental breakdown.

Well, I wouldn't exactly say it was brief.

Most people don't count one and a half months as brief. I was going to therapy at the time, and even that seemed to not work. I was crumbling under the stress of school and life.

I was adjusting to the other responsibilities of being a pre-med student: volunteering and partaking in research, all while I was taking many difficult classes. I was used to having a lot of time to study, but now I had to manage my time more effectively. I was just overwhelmed.

I withdrew from my organic chemistry class to lighten my load, and that helped quite a bit. Still, though, I was concerned. If I couldn't handle the stress now, how could I possibly handle the stress of medical school?

After seeing how badly my stress affected my mental health, people began to ask me if I really wanted to pursue a career in medicine. Even my therapist told me to reconsider my aspirations because medical school is way more stressful than college.

Although I was defensive at first, I soon understood. Medical school is so stressful that many students experience suicidal thoughts. Maybe they were right. Would I be one of the medical students to succumb to the pressure?

I thought about it, but I couldn't really think of another career I would want. I could go into nursing, teaching, research...but I don't feel that excitement I always feel in my heart when I think about becoming a doctor when I think of those careers.

How will I, as a person with chronic depression and anxiety, survive the stress?

I have no idea. To put it simply, I can't really predict how I'll react.

I've been through a lot of stress in my life. I'm learning how to balance several commitments. I'm learning to spend my study time effectively (that means less time on my phone).

I'm afraid of how medical school will affect me, but my commitment to become a doctor is pushing me forward.

We don't tell people who have physical disabilities that they can't become doctors. Similarly, people with mental illnesses are just as capable of becoming doctors as people without mental illnesses.

All this means is that I will have to be sure to take care of myself and pay attention to what's going on with my mind and my body. Prevention is key. Besides, if I can't take care of myself, how can I save lives?

There's that well-known airplane crash rule: Put on your oxygen mask before putting on your child's oxygen mask. I can protect my mental health with medications, therapy, and constant self-monitoring. In a demanding job, it's important to focus on prevention.

Being a doctor with a mental illness is possible. I won't let it stop me.