My Good Sir,
I'm sorry you live in a world where you are not allowed to feel. You are assigned the role of a provider, but how can you provide when you don't even want to proceed? Women have such a sense of community, they talk about the things that hurt them, while you suffer in silence. You acted recklessly as a result of the trauma you have endured in secrecy.
You are referred to a liar, when really you just keep secrets, your secret. Why must you be ashamed? The trauma you have faced is no reflection of the strength that you have. A chemical imbalance has thrown your life out of whack, but you won't admit to it.
Your frustration and struggles are silenced, but why? Possibly because we chose to ignore your pain. We don't ask how, we ask why? Why have you acted this way? We should be asking, "who hurt you?"
You can't tell your closest friend that you have bulimia because you will be viewed as "feminine". You can't cry in front of your father because he "didn't raise you like that". You crashed your car because you had a panic attack at the wheel, but you claimed to be "just not paying attention." You say therapy isn't an option, because you won't let it be one. You think you can save yourself, but you only hurt yourself even more.
"Boys will be boys" is missing something. It should read: "Boys will be boys until they heal." Boys cannot be men until they resolve their past trauma's get the help they need and learn to accept what makes them human. To the man reading this, I'm sorry you never got to tell your story. To post your battle online and wakeup to three hundred positive comments. I'm sorry that you have to mask your fear with rage. I'm sorry that your reckless behavior is the only thing that takes the pain away.
If I could fix the world for you, I would. I would make the world a place where men don't have to be string all the time. A world where we ask how, in place of why. "How can I help you?" Instead of "Why would you do that?" Maybe you have treated a woman badly as a result of your pain, here's your opportunity to start over. Get the help, make the appointments, take notes if you so please. Regardless, just stop suppressing and start expressing. Your feelings are valid, your diagnoses is not a death sentence, and you are not weak because of the past that was so unkind to you.
-Someone Who Understands.
