When our parents send us off to college, they are allowing us to leave the comfort of our homes and the safety of their arms so that we may learn how to survive in this great, big, unpredictable world. They send us off hoping that nothing but the absolute best comes our way, while also understanding that life is going to beat us up pretty badly before we learn how to maneuver through it all. When Izzy Ofsanko’s parents dropped her off at Point Loma Nazarene University, they expected her to have the time of her life, to get closer to God, to make lasting friendships, to be the best nurse in her class, and to graduate in four years. They dropped her off not knowing that her life would end in less than two months.
After someone dies, our first instinct is to question it. We ask God why their time had to be now, why we couldn’t have had a warning, why this person, and why not us. These are all hard questions that I’m not sure should ever be definitively answered, but they are important in teaching us very valuable life lessons. It’s been a year since her death on October 11, 2015. I can tell you for a fact that there has not been a single day in this past year that I haven’t thought about Izzy, and I know there are many of you reading this that can say the same thing. I can guarantee you, my friends, that all of these thoughts are not here just to torture us; they are here to allow us to process how this death has truly affected us, and how were going to use this realization for good in our lives.
Example No. 1: Life is fragile. It’s not a secret that high school and college students often perceive themselves as invincible. This misconception gets us in a lot of trouble, and more often than not, it takes a hefty consequence of our actions to teach us this lesson. This wasn’t the case with Izzy. She was driving back to school on that Sunday night when her car overturned five times on the onramp to get onto the 405 freeway. It wasn’t anyone’s fault; she wasn’t recklessly driving, and no one else was involved in the accident. If Izzy hadn’t hit her head on the window, she would have survived. Her death sparked a realization in me that the fragility of life is not something to only remember when you’re doing something dangerous. If you take the time to realize that each upcoming minute is not guaranteed, you become more self-aware of how beautiful each passing minute is.
Example No.2: Taking time to take it slow. No matter the amount of things on your mind or on your to-do list, you need to take things slow and appreciate how sweet and beautiful your life is. I can remember one night while my roommate and I were doing homework, Izzy was sitting in one of our beds, laughing, telling jokes, and truly brightening up the room. She was so intentional about spending quality time with people and making sure their day always ended on a good note, and if this isn’t the way to live, I don’t know what is. She always took the time out of her day to watch the sunset, laugh, and bring joy to other’s lives, and if she could do that as a nursing major, we can do it, too.
Example No. 3: What you think is important, may not actually be. After her death, I spent a lot of time alone to reflect on my priorities in life, and I found that many of the things that I thought were important, were not. Things like homework, money, clothes, food, and grades are important, but in the long run, they shouldn’t be as high on your priority list as friends, family, God, and yourself. When people on their death beds were asked about their lives and what they regretted, the second most common answer was that they wished they had not worked so hard, which led them to put the people in their life to the sidelines. Taking the time to appreciate and invest in those around is 100% more rewarding than anything else on this earth.
Example No. 4: God works in mysterious ways because beauty and goodness shine through even the darkest of evils. You all know the phrase, “The darkest nights produce the brightest stars,” because of its inherent truth. If there was nothing but light all the time, we would be blind to so many good and true things in life. In order to see the beauty, learn the truth, and grow into better people, we need to go through those dark, dark nights so that we can see the most brilliant stars. Grieving Izzy’s death was harder than I ever could have imagined, but seeing the beauty that came out of it was more beautiful than I ever could have dreamt. Through her death, I have formed unbreakable bonds with so many friends that I otherwise would never have met, I have had the rewarding experience of getting to know Izzy’s family, I have seen countless donations given to the Best Friends Animal Society in her name, and I have seen many people’s lives change for the better through hearing her story.
Example No. 5: Life is beautiful. At Izzy's funeral, her family gave out yellow bracelets that read, "#lifeizzbeautiful." I have worn this bracelet every single day since then because it is a reminder of all of the things her death has taught me and many more.
I still cannot believe it has only been a year since her death. So much has changed, so much has happened, and yet she is still somehow bringing joy and happiness into my life and helping me learn and grow in so many ways. Izzy Ofsanko’s death was and is a tragedy because no parent should ever have to experience losing their child at such a young age, but God used this loss to work in this world and bring goodness to those of us who experienced this pain.
I know many of you may not have known her, but I hope she can touch your lives the same way she has touched mine.
We miss you, Izzy.
