This article is written in remembrance of Brian Gilby and David Grotberg.
This past Thursday, October 6th, was the 2 year anniversary of the death of one of my closest and most dear friends. This was someone that never worried about a thing and was someone that you knew you could depend on. He was my neighbor, the person that I was always next to in the yearbook, my eternal bus buddy (no matter how much I tried to have a seat all to myself), and the only person that I knew that still had the same backpack from kindergarten all the way to junior year. Brian Gilby never had an ill thing to say about anyone, and always made you feel like you were important and valued. Brian was friends with everyone that he came across, and even if his over-usage of the word "actually" drove you crazy at times, his undying empathy and compassion for others never did.
When Brian first passed, I instantly mourned over his death and at the loss of the opportunity to make more memories with him in the future. I was supposed to sit next to Brian at graduation, and even though the crazyness of high school forced us to go our separate ways at times, whenever we did get the chance to see each other again, we always picked up the conversation like we'd never stopped talking in the first place. Once he passed, I avoided riding the bus for months, and constantly beat myself up over the fact that I never got to see him play in a soccer game. But it wasn't until a few months later that I realized that just because Brian had left us physically, that didn't mean he'd left us in spirit.
Over time, I slowly became more and more thankful to have been able to know Brian in the first place and to have made so many memories with him while he was here. Like how he dressed up as Harry Potter for Halloween 5 years in a row. Or how he always walked on his toes. Or how the jacket that he wore everyday was always covered in cat hair. Or how he and I had planned to riot the one year we weren't in the same class in elementary school. Or how that same year, a teacher gave me extra credit for cleaning and organizing his desk. Or how we used to go one block further than our actual bus stop, just so we could run alongside the approaching bus in the mornings and then grab our backpacks to get onto the bus out of breath from both running too fast and laughing too hard. Or how we always found something to laugh about on our hundreds of rides on a school bus together, even on the bad days.
This past Thursday was not a particularly easy day for me and the other people who were missing Brian, but I made it through knowing that if there was one thing Brian didn't want any of us to do on that day, it would be to spend too much of the day crying over his passing instead of smiling about the wonderful life he did live.
The next day, on Friday, October 7th, I watched as so many Baylor students had to go through this same process over the passing of David Grotberg. I didn't know David personally, but every story or memory that I was fortunate enough to hear about him brought a smile to my face and made me wish I did get to meet him. Friends of David constantly talked about his never ending enthusiasm for sports and for the band. He was involved in so many things, but always gave 110% in everything he did. David and his energy made him a rare and extremely valuable son, brother, and friend to so many people. Just like I was when Brian passed, I saw so many people find peace in remembering those special and precious memories that they got to make with David and in knowing that he is exactly where God wants him to be now, right by his side.
I think Brian and David are two perfect examples of how who we are as people and the impact that we leave on others is eternal, even if our time here on Earth isn't.
The impact and impressions that we make on others says so much about us and about the light and joy that we are able to give to others each and everyday.The impact that we make in this world goes so much farther than our posts on Facebook, or our photos on Instagram, or even our random tweets and retweets on Twitter. Our impact ultimately lies in what we are able to give to others, whether that be a laugh, a smile, a hug, a shoulder to cry on after a bad day, and so much more. So much of who we are isn't in what we say, but in what we do for others.
If there's one thing about life that I'm certain of, it's that everything is temporary and change is inevitable. So make memories with the people that mean the most to you now while you still can. These memories will be with you forever, even if the people that helped you make them aren't.
Losing someone is never easy, and never gets easier. However, in these times, I encourage you to remember the best and most memorable parts about those who you've lost in the past as well as though her are still here with you. Continue to make memories with those around you, and never fail to let them know how much they mean to you. Smile more. Laugh harder. Love more. Be thankful about the time that you did get to spend with these incredible people, and don't dwell on the things that you missed.
When we remember people as wonderful as Brian and David, we can't help but smile. These are people that gave so much to the world in their short time here on Earth, and their impact and spirits will continue to give to others through us and our actions.
If there's one thing about life that I'm certain of, it's that everything is temporary, change is inevitable, and that memories are the best things we can create and share with others, so go and make some that are worth remembering.
