Do you ever get over a moment in your life that you thought you’d never get over? Like, you’re feeling great about moving on and you’re finally happy when suddenly, bam, something that brings that moment back shows up. And you’re like “what the f*** world, I thought we were past this.” That thing, that feeling or sound or object, brings your world crashing down because you realize maybe I’m actually not over it. Maybe I’ve just buried it somewhere deep inside me so I could ignore it.
Everyone knows that thing I’m talking about too. They may not realize it but they’ve had that moment before. I’m talking about that song that brings you back to friendships that disappeared or that eraser that your ex-boyfriend gave you in some sort of stupid, memorable way. It’s that thing that sends you reeling back into the memories.
Most people say if that happens then you’re not over whatever happened. I don’t believe that. I say that’s not true, and here’s why. Everyone has a song that takes them back to their middle school and high school days. The one that reminds you of the dances you went to. It’s that. Now, how can you compare the two? They have two different meanings. One isn’t even a memory that you hide away. Simple answer, they are similar. They’re two different situations that throw you on a trip down memory lane.
Sure, one could be a reminder of a good time and the other of a bad time. However, any attachment you have to anything is probably associated with good memories. Happy memories even. That song or that eraser, those are happy memories that just so happen to bring up bad memories too.
When I hear the song, “Fall For You” I think about me ex-girlfriend and the memories associated with it. The first kiss, the first I love you, spending time together. All of those, are good memories but they’re also bad memories because then I think of the fights, the pain and the break-ups that came after that. However, those were still good moments I remember fondly.
I’m over that break-up though, I’m over the pain of losing someone you loved. I know I’m not stuck on it because I’ve moved on. I’ve continued with my life. I’ve found and lost love again. Yet, each time something that reminds me of a past partner or past friends I’m thrown back to those memories. It’s not in a “I miss this” sort of way either. It’s in a “this moment made me happy and I can now look back on it fondly” kind of way. It’s sort of like how you look at a little kid or co-worker when they’re doing something annoying but you can’t help but be amused by it at the same time. I’m no longer bought to tears or upset about reliving the memory, that’s how I know I’m over it.
It probably sounds crazy but it’s something I experience often. One second I’m cleaning my room and finding a stuffed animal my ex-boyfriend gave to me and the next second I’m thinking about when I got that stuffed animal and how happy I was even though I was so stressed out that day. It’s probably because I associate good times with the song that’s playing in that moment or the thing I was eating. I like having things that connect me to my memories.