I was scrolling through Facebook on a night I couldn’t sleep, and I came across a picture for suicide prevention that showed a semicolon tattoo and a dictionary definition of indomitable. I shared the picture along with a quotation from the late Monty Oum and I spent the next while thinking about all of the achievements he accomplished and had yet to accomplish. I thought the same about people that I have never met or known; I have a weird habit of remembering other people exist. I think about death too much and not enough at the same time. I wonder how it will happen, what it will feel like, and how my mind and body will react to being shut down. More so than anything else, I think about how it affects people and their personalities. I just told you how my first reaction was to quote Monty, a miraculous person who created things that fascinated me to no end. His death brought me to study more about the way he lived and viewed life and I had adopted some of those teachings, such as never complaining about working and never expecting praise for the work. After his passing, I started to live in such a way that would honor his memory. Monty’s passing isn’t the only death that has altered the way I live my life.

I have also been affected by a more metaphorical death. I’ve mentioned in a previous article that I am doing everything in my power to kill off my birth name, and that has influenced my actions as well as my identity. I have been trying to change and diminish my old habits. I’m trying to see the better parts of people instead of assuming the worst in them. I’m trying to see the better parts of myself. I’m trying to open my mind and accept different answers to the questions of life and seek wisdom that comes from a variety of people who have an even more diverse background. All of these positive life changes originated from me obsessing over death. I have found that death, as morbid as it sounds, is one of the best teachers we can have. Death is a teacher that is patient, yet demanding and finite, yet eternal. The thought may bring tears and anxiety, but it is an inevitable part of life that gently pushes us to our limits so that we can live the best lives possible to leave behind a happy legacy that our loved ones can remember us by.

Is the cancer survivor not more appreciative of their friends and family? Does the failed suicide not bring a love of self rather than a love of demise? We all know the phrase “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger,” but if you don’t accept the cause of that strength you won’t be. Strength, like gifts, need to be accepted willingly to be made wholesome. I know it hurts. I know that you would want to trade anything and everything in your possession to avoid dying or having a loved one die. I know that you never want to hear it, but that does not change the fact that it is a necessary part of life.

It’s always interesting when I hear people say they would wish for a world with no death. Firstly, speaking as an introvert, that would be horrible because there would be people everywhere and that’s just gross. Secondly, in a world with no death, life would have no purpose. If the only certain things in life are death and taxes, then let your knowledge of death be your motivation to hunt down the uncertain. Go fall in love, get your heart broken, and fall in love again. Travel if you’re able to. People say to do the things that scare you. I couldn’t speak to crowds until I did competitive speech back in high school and I loved it. There are so many aspects and gifts in life that cannot be fully appreciated until we factor in that we only have a limited time to enjoy them. That’s not to say that you should focus on the grave. That’s where the gloom and doom starts to set in. Focus, instead, on living your live to your fullest and in such a way that when it is your time and you meet whatever it is that walks with you into the next world, you are able to do so as if walking side by side with an old friend, ready for your next adventure.