Meeting your boyfriend's friends doesn't sound like a big deal but it's basically the college version of meeting the parents because the actual parents are too far away. I was nervous because I knew his friends were gonna judge me and tell him I'm perfect for him or tell him I'm a b*tch that he can't date because they hate me, Even if they hated me, he would try to make it work because he's a decent person but lets just be honest, if the majority of your friends hate your significant other, it's a hard relationship to keep.

Honestly, I didn't think they would hate me but I wasn't sure if we were gonna click or have something in common because I met my boyfriend in band and not all his friends are in band with us. Anyway, I show up in this new place full of new people and I'm like "oh god what have I gotten myself into." My boyfriend is, of course, comfortable and happy to see his friends again and I wanna be supportive but I also wanna fade into the wall I'm leaning against. They're nice and they introduce themselves to me but then talk to him about video games which is fine but I can't say much about video games so I just smile.

That's all I really do for the next hour. I sit and smile. They ask me what I like to do and what I'm interested but I feel like every answer I give is more boring and unrelateable than the last. When we leave I'm grateful to feel like I can say whatever I want and be myself but I also feel like a failure for never getting comfortable enough while I was there to be myself. His friends didn't really get to know me so I was disappointed but at least it was over. Well, it wasn't. Apparently I didn't meet all his friends so we had to go back later. I was exhausted because sitting and smiling is hard work. So we went to dinner and I went back to my room for an hour or so.

I decided to be more of myself this time. I just had to be. I used to like baking a lot, especially brownies, but I stopped when I got to college because it isn't cost effective and I don't always have access to a kitchen. But his friends live in an apartment with a kitchen. So I decide to make my favorite "husband killer brownies". They're just really unhealthy brownies with a funny name, don't worry. They turned out great and it gave me an excuse to be kinda away from the friends while I got comfortable in the space, The best thing was his friends loved that I baked for them and I got comfortable enough to talk to all of them and have my own conversations so all the feedback about me was positive. The second time I left I felt more confident like I could talk to them again whenever I needed to which is good because I'll probably go over and hang out more often.