These days, I have been questioning and exploring my femininity a lot (another article on that later), especially since, as an actor, you present a certain image of yourself, and you’re constantly questioning the image you want to present.
Furthermore, I’ve been questioning it a lot because, with the rise in the transgender community, and what it means to be a man or a woman, it makes you question what exactly are feminine and masculine traits. I am still not entirely sure, and there’s a lot of room for discussion in that.
However, something that I have realized recently is that we’re still living in a society where we are shaming the stereotypically feminine: interest in fashion, make-up, shopping, etc. And the media is furthering this stereotype.
When you look back at the popular movies or romantic comedies of the late 90s or early 2000s, most of these movies revolve around girls who are “not like other girls.” These are girls who are not interested in feminine things, and their enemies are popular girls who are. For example, if you look at “A Cinderella Story” with Hilary Duff, the movie revolves around how different she is from other girls (into sports, likes to eat, not into clothes), which is what causes her to get the guy. Throughout the movie, the popular girl, who is stereotypically girly and ditzy, has a bunch of dislikable qualities such as being dumb, mean, and pushy. There are numerous movies with this trope: “Mean Girls,” “She’s the Man,” “The DUFF,” and the list goes on and on. Even if you look at popular music, Taylor Swift’s song “You Belong with Me” shames girly girls with the line, “She wears short skirts/I wear T-Shirts/ she’s cheer captain/and I’m on the bleachers,” using it as a method to prove that Taylor's a worthier companion.
The thing that I hate about these movies and music is that they send the message that girliness is in line with stupidity and unkindness, which is absolutely not the case. Second, it also paints the image that girls who act feminine are not attractive to men, and only “girls who are not like other girls” are appealing to the opposite sex. This is extremely degrading, and it tells women that their interests are not valid, unless it appeals to men. Also, with the whole “you’re not like other girls” trope, it makes women believe that if they like what girls are stereotypically into, they’re followers and don’t stand out.
Even if you look at modern media, the only women who are taken seriously or praised are those who have masculine qualities. The only women who are considered “bad-ass” are those who exhibit masculine qualities through physicality. Even if you look at “Mad-Max Fury Road”, arguably the most feminist movie of the year, the only female that is truly taken seriously is Furiosa, the most masculine of all of them.
Looking at it this way, it seems that we seem to shame anything that is made for females. I still remember in middle and high school I didn’t want to ever wear dresses or make up because it seemed that I was “a follower” if I did. Furthermore, I constantly showed my distaste in what girls were supposed to be interested in, like Uggs, One Direction, and "Twilight." It seems that we live in a culture that shames things that are marketed toward girls. Even if a guy shows interest in these things, he is shamed.
I find all of this extremely damaging, and it gives women of all ages the idea that having an interest in "girly" things is a bad thing. We need to teach women that it’s OK to like what ever you like. I think this starts with not shaming women for their interests, and not using media to shame things that are marketed towards them. This also includes creating movies and music with more women, and more kinds of women. This includes those of different races, sizes, and personalities. With this, we can create a future where being a woman is not bad, but pretty awesome.
