Go stand in front of a mirror. Put your hand on the glass. You can see the human staring back at you, but you can’t feel the heat of their touch. You can’t smell their hair, or their clothes. You can’t taste their lips on yours. Imagine a relationship where you only have two senses – vision and hearing. You can see them through the computer and you can hear them on the phone – but you’re living a life with 40 percent of the sensory connection other relationships have.
In 1995, Match.com launched as an official online dating site. With technology at our fingertips in 2015, it’s not surprising that, according to the Pew Research Center, 5 percent of Americans in a committed relationship met their significant other online. Yes, 5 percent is a relatively small number – but not when considering there are growing total of 321.9 million (see the current number at Census.gov) Americans in the United States. Let's do the math: 5 percent of the American population makes up roughly 16 million people. Millions of individuals in just one of the world’s countries met their significant other online, whether they were actively seeking their partner out, or carrying on with their day, not realizing fate was pulling some tricks out of its sleeve. Not all people believe in soul mates, which is entirely understandable – but what would you do if you had a 99.99 percent compatibility with another human being out there, but they were 1,000 miles away? Would you be able to shrug it off as a fluke Internet scam, or would it linger in your mind, tempting you to test the waters?
Distance is the devil’s advocate in any relationship. They say, “distance makes the heart grow fonder,” but what that really means is “distance requires the heart to be stronger.” I’ve been in a long distance relationship for six years. It has been harder than I could ever imagine. We struggle to find times to talk throughout the day. It’s not uncommon to send or read a “Sorry it took so long to respond” text, because our schedules are essentially the opposite. Often, seeing other couples together is like rubbing salt in an open wound. You’ve come to accept it, but at the same time, not having an end-date to a long distance relationship is like waiting for the light at the end of a tunnel. You blink over and over and over again, telling yourself that the next time you open your eyes, you’ll see the smallest speck of light, the smallest bit of hope that you can cling to that will pull you through. Days turn into weeks and weeks turn into months, and you realize how long it’s been since you’ve seen them. Filling your days with meetings, events, and plans with friends passes the time and keeps you from dwelling on your half-present relationship, but it’s also time that you’re not spending talking with your significant other. It’s key to find the balance between distraction and dedication.
While long-distance relationships have their downsides, there are incredible perks as well. First of all, you don’t have to care about your appearance whatsoever because you know you won’t run into them unexpectedly. In this day and age, technology is incredible and you can still plan quality time with them. The time you do get to physically spend together reminds you of why you’re in the relationship in the first place. You can enjoy the freedom of growing independently, while also knowing they’re a phone call away if you’re losing it and need someone to talk to. You’re not tempted to hang out at their apartment instead of writing that paper you’re pushing off until the last minute. You experience the independence of going to parties and events without your significant other and discover what it’s like to be a semi-functional adult on your own. You can carry on, knowing you’re both in it for the long haul and you’ll be together soon enough. Your relationship enhances you, not defines you.
To all my fellow long-distance troopers out there, stick to it. Know that whatever happens, you’ll have an incredible perspective and outlook on life that will set you apart from the people who take the time spent with their significant other for granted. Enjoy the perks, manage the downfalls, and know that the time spent apart is only getting shorter.
