Throughout the last couple of years, I have experienced many different friendships. Some are still amazing friends to this day, and others were outgrown. Some ended on bad terms, unfortunately. When I went through these times where I was learning who my true friends were, I asked myself, "What does it really mean to have a true friendship?"
It took me many different experiences with friends to learn what it takes to have a true friendship. First, I learned how to define a true friendship. To me, a true friendship is deep and meaningful, and it takes time to build. I have true friends from when we were born a month apart in 1995, and ones that began my freshmen year of college. You can find these true friends anywhere. They can be childhood friends, college friends, or maybe you still haven't met them yet.
I think it takes time to build a true friendship because you need to build trust. You can trust them with any information about yourself, and trust the fact that they will be there when you are going through a hard time. I also think you need to go through experiences with them. Good, bad, fun, anything you can go through together. In the hard times, you need to be there for support. Fun times to create everlasting memories. And even if you are going through a rough patch with your friendship, this puts to the test on if it is true or not. If it is true, you will put your differences to the side and realize your friendship is worth more and it becomes stronger. If it is not true, you and your friend realize this is not a friendship worth having, and you part ways.
That being said, it is okay to outgrow a friendship. You are constantly changing as a person, and a true friend will support you throughout the changes. If you have a friend that does not like these changes, they may have just been a friend during that time, and your personalities don't match anymore. This is not a bad thing, as long as you are both mature and wish each other well.
One important aspect of a true friendship I find is there is no pressure. It is okay to not talk to each other every day, or even every week. No matter how long you go without seeing each other, when you do see each other, it is like no time has passed. Each friend understands the other is busy with life, and there is no pressure to consistently talk every day. They are there for support, they want to see you succeed. When you have time to see each other, it is always a wonderful time no matter when it is. Some people feel that in order to maintain a friendship, you need to talk and see each other as much as possible, I see that more as pressure and work. A true friendship is natural.
I am thankful enough to have so many true friendships in my life. They never judge me, are always there for support and love, and I appreciate that so much. To those who have supported me through a recent tough loss, made me laugh endlessly, calmed me down when I felt a panic attack coming on, and gave me words of encouragement when I was being hard on myself, you know who you are. I value their friendships so much and I am lucky to have them in my life.
