As It Turned Out To Be, I Am A Hopeless Romantic

As It Turned Out To Be, I Am A Hopeless Romantic

I'm a huge sucker for love stories.

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I believe that a relationship should be a special thing between two people.

As it turned out to be, I ended up being a hopeless romantic -- a sucker for those epic love stories we so often watched on movies and read about in John Green's books.

Growing up, I took my parents' relationship as an example of what true love might equate. They were each other's equal, each other's advisors. They belonged to each other and nobody else. They always mentioned in front of me and my brother how they would never want anybody else in their lives -- how they would never trade each other.

Their love story became my favorite. It became my ideal love story. The moment that they had met eye to eye, they both said they had known. And all of these years I always dreamt of a love story like theirs. I always dreamt of finding my person, the person who would know me better than everybody, the person that belonged to me, and to whom I belonged.

All those thoughts always floated like a cloud did on a slow, spring day. They left me in the clouds all the time. I'm a believer in monogamy. I'm a believer in staying true to each other in every way possible. I'm a believer in honesty and communication being the best answer always.

And although I'm attracted to men and not women, this has never discouraged me from trying for that epic love story I believe we all deserve. The idea of open relationships is one that always confused me. Not that I'm shading people who decide to do this, but this is just my opinion: why share that special relationship you built with a special somebody with somebody else who might taint it somehow? I feel like it is a lack of disrespect to your partner and your relationship.

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20 Things You Still Ask Your Dad At 20

“How can I use our bank account to set up Venmo?”
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    When I was a little girl, my dad used to read me stories of fairy tales and superheroes. I always thought my dad was my real life superhero and that he could fix any problem.

    Even now at 20, there are still things I ask my dad because he is a wealth of knowledge that I still believe can fix any problem.

    Let's be honest, being an adult is hard and at 20 there are still so many things we don't know how to do yet and Dad is always the first person we call.

    Here are 20 things college girls still ask their dads at 20:

    1. "If my gas tank is on empty how many miles can I drive before my car really stops working?"

    2. "Dad, what's this light mean on my car? I'm texting you a picture."

    3.“My car is making this weird clicking noise it sounds like this... CLICK CLICK."

    4.“How do I hang this mirror?"

    5. "What kind of tools do I need to hang this mirror and where can I get them?"

    6.“Can I take DayQuil and Advil together?"

    7. "How can I use our bank account to set up Venmo?"

    8."Who's our insurance carrier?"

    9.“Do you have my birth certificate?"

    10."What's the Netflix password?"

    11."What's the difference between different kinds of gas?"


12.“There are so many lightbulbs to choose from how do I know which one I need?"

13. "Hi, I know it's 3 a.m. but my smoke detector is beeping and I don't know what to do."

14."What's my routing number and account number and where do I find it?"

15.“How do I pay taxes? Can you pay them for me?"


16. “How does one go about changing their oil?"

17. “SOS! My shower leaking and there is water everywhere. What do I do?

18. “What exactly am I claiming on this tax form?"

19. "Hey, how do I write a check?"

20. “Why does everything cost money? Can you pay for that?

and.....the most important: “What would I do without you, Dad?"


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For Camille, With Love

To my godmother, my second mom, my rooted confidence, my support

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First grade, March. It was my first birthday without my mom. You through a huge party for me, a sleepover with friends from school. It included dress up games and making pizza and Disney trivia. You, along with help from my grandma, threw me the best birthday party a 7-year-old could possibly want.

During elementary school, I carpooled with you and a few of the neighborhood kids. I was always the last one to be dropped off, sometimes you would sneak a donut for me. Living next door to you was a blessing. You helped me with everything. In second grade, you helped me rehearse lines for history day so I could get extra credit. In 4th grade, you helped me build my California mission.

You and your sister came out to my 6th grade "graduation". You bought me balloons and made me feel as if moving onto middle school was the coolest thing in the entire world.

While you moved away from next door, you were a constant in my life. Going to Ruby's Diner for my birthday, seeing movies at the Irvine Spectrum and just hanging out, I saw you all the time. During these times, you told me about all of the silly things you did with my mom and dad, how my mom was your best friend. I couldn't have had a greater godmother.

In middle school, you pushed me to do my best and to enroll in honors. You helped me through puberty and the awkward stages of being a woman.

Every single time I saw you, it would light up my entire day, my week. You were more than my godmother, you were my second mom. You understood things that my grandma didn't.

When you married John, you included me in your wedding. I still have that picture of you, Jessica, Aaron and myself on my wall at college. I was so happy for you.

Freshmen year of high school, you told me to do my best. I did my best because of you. When my grandma passed away that year, your shoulder was the one I wanted to cry on.

You were there when I needed to escape home. You understood me when I thought no one would. You helped me learn to drive, letting me drive all the way from San Clemente to Orange.

When I was applying to colleges, you encouraged me to spread my wings and fly. You told me I should explore, get out of California. I wanted to study in London, you told me to do it. That's why, when I study abroad this Spring in London, I will do it for you.

When I had gotten into UWT, you told me to go there. I did and here I am, succeeding and living my best in Tacoma. I do it for you, because of you.

When I graduated high school and I was able to deliver a speech during our baccalaureate, you cheered me on. You recorded it for me, so I could show people who weren't able to make it to the ceremony. You were one of the few people able to come to my actual graduation. You helped me celebrate the accomplishments and awards from my hard work.

When your cancer came back, I was so worried. I was afraid for you, I was afraid of what I would do without the support you had always given me. When I was in Rome, I went to the Vatican and had gotten a Cross with a purple gem in the middle blessed by the Pope to help you with your treatments. It was something from me and a little bit of my mom in the necklace, the gem.

Now, sitting so far from you away at college just like you wanted me to. I miss you. I wish I was there to say goodbye.

I'll travel the world for you, write lots of stories and books for you, I will live life to the fullest for you.

You are another angel taken too early in life. Please say hello to my parents and grandma in Heaven for me.

Lots of love,

Haiden

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