I’m a 22-year-old senior in college and I’m graduating in December. The number one question I’m asked seemingly daily?
What are you doing after graduation?
My number one answer?
I have no idea.
Yes, it’s terrifying not knowing where I’m going or what I’ll be doing come January. It’s horrifying that soon after that, my loans will come knocking on my door, emptying my bank account (if there even is anything there in the first place). It’s scary that I’ll have to move out of my parents’ house and find my own place. It’s all so big and it makes me feel so small.
But maybe that’s the beauty of it.
Don’t get me wrong, being scared about my future isn’t something that I enjoy. It is, however, something that comes with the territory of having a choice and that’s pretty awesome. I don’t have my life planned out day-by-day and that’s a little exciting. Anything can happen.
The decisions I have to make and the pressure that I feel seem so big, but I have a God who is so much bigger.
One of my favorite lyrics by Jon Bellion comes from the chorus of his song "Maybe IDK" and it says, “Although I guess if I knew tomorrow, I guess I wouldn’t need faith. I guess if I never fell, I guess I wouldn’t need grace. I guess if I knew His plans, I guess He wouldn’t be God.”
I don’t have a plan, and that’s OK. He does. He has me covered far beyond my graduation in December. That knowledge ebbs away at the terror that I feel as my time here in my cozy little dorm room comes to a close. I’m still scared, but I’m also so excited to see what He has in store and I'm diving in headfirst.
I don’t have all the answers. In fact, I have very few. I’m horrible at decision-making. My boyfriend can attest to that by the number of times he asks the question, “where do you want to eat?” and I reply, “I don’t know.”
I’m slowly learning to enjoy the here and now. I’m starting to let the pressure of my future fall on my shoulders and then slowly roll away because what good are my plans when He holds the universe?
With all the multitude of things I don’t know, here are the things I do know: my family is always there for me to lean on, I have a boyfriend who loves me no matter what, friends who always have shoulders for me cry on and a God who knows what is best for me.
So, no. I don’t know what I’ll be doing come January. But maybe that’s the beauty of it.
