In my life, especially lately, I’ve felt the need to defend myself on the matters of religion and my personal views. Even now on the news, I’m seeing the subject of religion in the United States become a serious issue. I’ve wanted to write an article on this subject for quite some time, but I lacked the courage. The other night, it occurred to me just how stupid it was to be afraid. It’s taken me a very long time to figure out what makes me happy, and I should not be ashamed of it. This article is a soapbox of sorts for people both religious and non. I’ve been discriminated, pushed away, and abandoned by loved ones for my beliefs. I’m here to say that it’s not okay.

I may be Agnostic, but I’m not…

..Evil

That’s one of my personal favorite allegations.

I was raised in the Roman Catholic Church. I was lucky enough to have two amazing parents who loved me no matter what. However, I was not as fortunate when it came to members of my congregation. For as long as I can remember, I felt different than my peers. I would ask questions in my religion classes (CCD) and I would be berated for thinking the way I did. Even as a five year old. I learned to shut up and listen, even if I was confused or didn’t agree with things that were being said. I was told that any other belief system was wrong and those who didn’t think the way “we” did were in allegiance with Satan. This terrified me as a child, so I taught myself not to question anymore. I believed what I was told because I didn’t want to be evil.

Atheists, Agnostics, etc, were destined for hell.

...Lesser

I was finally brave enough to express myself when I was thirteen years old. As a Catholic kid who went to public school, your eighth-grade year was the last year of CCD classes in the Catholic curriculum. I remember this year very well. It was 2008 and right in the middle of Obama’s first presidential race. My CCD teacher started to discuss how horrible Obama was in front of the whole class because of his support of Planned Parenthood, marriage equality, universal healthcare, all of those things. I politely asked her to move on to a different topic because I felt very uncomfortable. Although I was only 13, I had developed my own set of morals and political beliefs that seemed to be very different than hers and the rest of the class. She then tormented me for my opinions in front of the whole class. They also proceeded to join in with her. It was very clear that I was not welcome there.

I was too scared to tell my dad that I didn’t want to go to CCD at all anymore, so I just asked to change classrooms.

I didn’t speak in my new class.

...Lost

Many people I’ve encountered tell me that I believe what I do because I haven’t been “exposed to the truth”. Quite the opposite. Like I’ve said before, I was raised as a Catholic. I knew early on that it wasn’t a good fit for me. I attended many other churches, Lutheran, non-denominational, synagogues, everything. I tried to find a place where I fit. It was the most frustrating time of my life.

I finally realized that it is okay if I didn’t fit into any particular belief system. I began to accept myself and whatever was going on inside my head. I was a kid. I clearly had time to figure it all out. So I began reading a lot. I focused a lot on the history of world religions as well as the history of the entire planet. I weighed in scientific fact as well as religious stories. I paired them side by side and decided for myself what was fact and what was fiction.

Long story short, 8 years later, I have a pretty good idea about what I believe and don’t believe. I’m not going to bore you with the details because it doesn’t matter! You shouldn’t care what I think is right or wrong. You shouldn’t care what anyone thinks. You should believe what makes you happy. That’s all it’s about. Spreading happiness, positivity, and love. The sooner everyone realizes that, the better the world will become.

...Going to Change You

This is probably the subject I’m most passionate about. Ever since I made this personal decision to stray away from the traditional religious systems, it has negatively impacted some of my relationships with family, friends, boyfriends, whatever.

But why?

I will never be able to understand why living for my own spiritual happiness has made so many people hate me. I’ve had countless people try to talk me back into the "Traditional American Christian" life. But what does that even mean? No one on this planet can tell you with 100000% certainty how we all got here. Sure, people can be 1000000% faithful that it was God who put us here, but that's just the thing. It's faith. It's a beautiful, powerful thing, but it is not fact. Therefore, people are allowed to have different opinions on it. Just like there are numerous different branches of Christianity. In the end, it all comes down to the same basic principals. But for some, it's the tiny details that they will literally kill over. The moment anyone doesn’t believe the exact same version of Christianity that they do, then those people are not “True Christians.” I hear that term thrown around so much. “True Christian.” They might as well say, “They don’t believe every single minuscule thing I do, therefore they are wrong.” They are literally dividing themselves from people in their own religion! That is not the way we should live as a human family. We are already divided so much in this world. People will find every excuse they can to raise them above everyone else. They are right and everyone is wrong. That is no way to live. Nothing good can come from "US vs. THEM".

I have never tried to change anyone’s religious views in my entire life. I accept everyone for who they are. As long as you are spreading love, then you are “right” in my opinion. I have no idea what actually happened the moment the universe was created. Nor will I pretend to. I am perfectly happy not knowing for certain. I am finally comfortable having my own belief system that is unique to me. I just wish people would respect that as I respect them. My religion may not be printed and bound with a hard cover, but that doesn't mean it's any less sacred to me. It is not something that you can change by shoving a pamphlet under my door. It's a part of who I am.

Just to sum this whole thing up: stop setting yourself apart by differences. Start accepting each other for your similarities. Spread love. The moment we all realize we are equal is the moment we all can live in the vision of God, or Allah, Jesus, Buddha, someone, or no one at all.

Do what makes your soul happy and let other’s do the same.