So here I am. College. After years of excelling in math classes and realizing I want to pursue it in my life, I am finally able to do so, but guess what?

College math classes are not going to be my simple high school geometry class.

Okay, I did know this going into the major, and college in general, but I definitely did not expect to be challenged so quickly.

We did a quick trig review and hopped right in to it all, the crazy world of calculus, or so I thought.

After a little review we did limits, which is calculus, right? Apparently not, because after finishing the basic concepts of limits, our class was told, "Now it's time to get into actual calculus!"

So, wait. What we were just doing for the past week, the material that I struggled with and had to go to office hours every day for, isn't even actual calculus?

I was definitely a bit astonished, to say the least after hearing this, and frankly, I questioned myself.

Why am I here? I didn't even take calculus in high school because I was scared of a challenge and being less than perfect. Why would I ever think that I could be good enough for this?

This class isn't even considered hard enough to count towards my major! Why would I think I could understand all of the crazy courses I'll have to take throughout my college career in this major when I barely understood physics and got a 1 on the AP exam?

Why, why, why, why, why?

See, I was looking for answers and solutions to all of my problems and kept asking why, but I didn't think of things in the right math-y way that I should've. In math, often times to get the solution for why, or Y, you need to know X, which mean you need to understand the variables.

Sure, I have been having a bit of a rough time with what apparently isn't even calculus yet, but think of the variables. I'm not just living my normal, high school life with a harder class. I'm living a new, weird college life which involves much more than harder classes; money, laundry, new responsibilities: variables.

I'm living a totally different life, which is obviously going to take a toll on anyone. Don't get me wrong, I'm loving college so far, new people, more freedom, more challenging classes, and much more, but it also can be hard.

Along with all of the good variables that I mentioned, there is also the part that you are away from family and have many new, unique responsibilities that you were not expecting.

So, yes. I am a math education major, and yes, I am having some difficulty in calc that's not yet calc, but I am also trying, which is what sets me apart from those who could be in a similar situation and give up.

Instead of jumping ship and picking an easier major, I am challenging myself and pushing myself to the best of my ability because I know that I can.

Despite my struggles, I am still just as qualified as the student next to me acing the course without even trying, if not more, because this is a new experience to me.

I'm used to being the one who does well without tons of effort, but by seeing the work that has to go in, I am going to be much more appreciative of myself and my abilities.

Now that I have to truly work towards something, it will be that much more special to me in the end when I walk across the stage with a diploma and into a high school classroom for the first time with my name on the door.