Masshole Thoughts As Told by Sheldon Cooper | The Odyssey Online
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Masshole Thoughts As Told by Sheldon Cooper

Please tell me why you're going 50 mph in the fast lane.

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Masshole Thoughts As Told by Sheldon Cooper

Everyone has heard of the 'typical Masshole' expression used to describe aggressive, speedy drivers often with peppered language. If you're from Massachusetts, you can likely identify with some of these qualities. After all, most people from Massachusetts drive like this and you kind of have to be aggressive to survive. Those who don't will look at us drivers like a bunch of hell bent speed demons and have a difficult time driving in Massachusetts. Not to mention they are more than terrified to get in a car with us. But don't worry, we're still safe drivers. We just know how to use our gas pedals and spice up the ride with some colorful language.

1. When the person in front of you has been driving with their directional on for the past two miles.

Oh are you turning left into that pile of rocks or into this patch of woods? When you do actually turn, I'll be sure to thank you for the three mile notice.

2. When you get stuck behind someone going 50 mph in the left lane and you just want to hold up a sign that says:


Don't you know that the left lane is for passing and not for day dreaming? You just don't belong in this lane, ma'am.

3. You have your excuse all lined up for if you ever get pulled over.

I'm sorry, officer, but the Batmobile only knows one speed: fast.

4. You're stuck behind someone going terribly slow all the way through town and there's no way to pass them.

If you wanted to go this slowly, why didn't you just go for a walk?

5. Twenty minutes later you're still stuck behind the same lady so you try and calm yourself down.

At this point, you could have walked to work faster.

6. You see one of those tiny Smart cars try to pass you on the highway.

Let's be real, those cars are so small they barely have an engine.

7. All of a sudden the person in front of you decides to turn without ever putting their directional on.


Thanks so much for the heads up.

8. You're at a stop light and you see the person next to you in a fancy sports car and you think:

Especially when you see they have a Florida license plate.

9. Your friends ask you if you would be able to drive somewhere without swearing about other drivers.


Some habits just can't be broken.

10. When people cut you off or take forever to make a left turn.


Driving would just be so much easier if you could control all the other cars around you.

11. Your friends from other states wonder how you got to be the crazy driver you are.


It's a Massachusetts thing; you out of staters just wouldn't understand.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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